Give Me Jesus

Listening to Jeremy Camp's Song "Give Me Jesus". Wow, to be there. Where all I want is Jesus. Where all I need is Jesus. You can have all this world, just give me Jesus. I know that's part of the process He is taking me through right now, peeling away everything I had put my security in so that I will only have HIM and be satisfied. Oh Lord, get me there!

Right now it is just me and Jesus and I'm feeling more at peace than I have in years. What lies I have believed. Putting my security in other things and in other people. Finding my worth in anything or anyone other than Christ will show itself false eventually. My protective self says "enough", can't we be done with this pruning process? Then He reminds me He loves me and He promises to bring fruit. Bring it on!!

Me? A Procrastinator...

There are so many things that I've learned that I've found it hard to know where to begin. I have questioned God almost daily as to why He won't take this illness away? Why won't He just heal me? I think I'm being met by silence, but if I really listen I can hear Him speak into my heart all the things that would not have been, had He not allowed this illness.

I would never have understood how people really feel when they are home-bound. Always one to offer my prayers and let people know I'll do whatever they need, I've never been one to initiate meeting their needs. When someone is needy, they aren't going to ask for help. We need to just do it! I am praying that God will heal me enough that I can get out there and start meeting needs. For now, I write notes of encouragement when God lays someone on my heart. And I pray!

Without this illness I wouldn't have realized the true importance of relationship. Oh, I've always been involved in things and had many people around me, but there's always been an event or something to do. Not just sitting and "being" with others. This has forced me to open my home to visitors and to have some of the sweetest times with those that God has brought. And God has amazed me over and over with who He brings. Not those I would have expected. What a joy to make new friends and see the body of Christ really come together!

Finally.....

It seems like I've been thinking about doing this forever. Actually it has been 8 months and 1 week. But it feels like forever. On June 6, 2007 my world stopped. (actually it really started spinning) After many doctor visits and every test known to man I was diagnosed with "bilateral vestibular neuritis". It is an illness that affects your balance and leaves you with almost chronic vertigo. NOT a fun feeling. Unable to drive, grocery shop, hit the beach, my life took on a whole new look. Spending almost every day at home alone was not something I was used to. I am a wife and mother to two fabulous kids. However, from the beginning I believed God had purpose in this. He doesn't allow trials unless He can bring something better from it.

I would like to fill this blog with what God has been teaching me. Share some journal entries. It will just be a place where I can "record" what is going on with me and what God is doing. I'm sure I'm the only one who'll be reading this, but that's okay with me.

These will be lessons learned from "The Perch". My couch where I have spent almost every waking moment for over 8 months.