Friday, April 29, 2011

Sifted

Whoa!

I didn't see that coming.....

Many of you have noticed how things have changed around here at The Perch. Not the look of it but what I have to say. Which hasn't been much lately.

God allowed me to be sifted over the past 18 months. I didn't realize that is what it was until a few nights ago. My background is one of severe insecurity. I want to be chosen, desired, wanted, found beautiful. I know those are common themes among women but for me it was a stronghold. Led me to make some destructive choices. Led me to marry the wrong person because someone had chosen me.

These past four years have been the toughest of my life. Illness. Divorce. Children with deep heartache. A child making decisions with possibly lifelong consequences. Financial hardship. Loneliness. Tears.

But in that time God brought me to a place where I really sought HIM. I finally found peace and contentment in knowing that I was chosen by God. He wanted me if no man did. And I started to write. Through this blog I have made lifelong friends. I have found healing. And I believe God was using it to impact others as well.

Satan wasn't very happy about the direction my life was taking and I believe he asked God if I could be sifted. A man came along about 18 months ago....out of nowhere. I was sure he was from God because I had not gone looking. I did not "go out". I never asked anyone to find me a man. This man, who I had known years ago but not spoken to since high school came into my life and we fell in love. We talked of our future.

Guess where I found my worth? In him instead of in HIM. Those same insecurities came back. Would he stay? Would he love me forever? Was I beautiful enough? A month ago he ended the relationship very suddenly and I looked up and asked God "what was that all about"?

I cried like never before. My heart literally ached! However, when God revealed to me the other night that I just might have been sifted, things started to change. Sifting is good. It reveals how deep our faith is.(or isn't) It removes impurities. It means we are a threat to satan. I know that I need to really, really believe where my worth comes from.

A man came thousands of years ago to die for ME. Yesterday I posted a song. The irony of the song choice did not dawn on me until last night. Many years ago I did a Beth Moore study and she said that one day God would call us by a new name. She asked us to think of what that name might be and immediately the name "Beautiful" came to my mind. I have always wanted to be beautiful but now it has new meaning. I want God to find me beautiful. That my heart would be pure. That I would take Him at His word....He does love me....He does desire to spend time with me....He does think I am worthy....If no other man ever comes along may I find true love in Jesus.


16 comments:

Michelle @ Give a Girl a Fig said...

oh girl...deep, deep sigh...this is so beautiful, as are you...inside and out...xoxo

UL Cards Fan said...

I have been checking all morning and I am finally rewarded with your Beautiful words written by my Beautiful friend who is strong and courageous enough to let your Beautiful Bridegroom "sift" and "refine". Praying for peace for you dear Sheryl. Love you.

Jackie said...

God rocks!!!! I am jumping up and down for your good news!!!
It's all about Jesus!
wonder working power of the Word soaked into beautiful you, and it is gushing out for "such a time as this"...you have your spiritual glassed on to see satan is out to kill,steal and destroy...and he lost..God wins! which means you win!

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

What a beautful post...written by a beautiful lady.

Praying that as you continue on with this journey...HE..becomes all you need.

Sheryl said...

I know exactly what you have been feeling. But, God wants us to find our significance, contentment and security in Him alone.

I am praying for you my sweet friend.

Sheryl

Jenna said...

i found you through Lisa's blog, and see that we follow a lot of the same people. your words resonate with me, as I am in the midst of a divorce. Im glad to know you.

One~Love~One~God said...

Beautiful indeed:-) What a freedom God has given you. I love how the Lord uses trials to prepare us for the upcoming season, as a testimony to a similar broken heart, as a refiner. <3 Thank you for sharing Gods wisdom through you today. Im praying for you.

The Worgess Family said...

Soooooooooooo, about that whole "someday you'll look back and see God's hand in this" thing... ;) Kidding. SO proud of you and I adore you!

Am very thankful that you ARE seeing something already (ahem, beauty from ashes anyone?!?) AND that healing is taking place. SO proud of you!! Love you and thank you for an amazing influence!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

what a beautiful pot...You are beautiful, but I so get your feelings...I have always wanted to be beautiful....I love you dearly

Laura said...

My sweet friend Sheryl..When I started to read your blog and you talked about being sifted this really hit to my heart on so many levels. I am so proud of you and what the LORD is doing in and thru you. I love you dear sister!

nancygrayce said...

Oh, I was in that exact same place several years ago. I have always wanted that same thing....a man to find me beautiful and desirable.

Oh, how the Lord loves us and never, ever leaves us or forsakes us. He knows we are beautiful and he makes us even more so in our love for Him and His love for us.

You are beautiful! Thank you for this post!

Kerrie said...

Sheryl. How are you not Beautiful?

Sassy Granny ... said...

Such wisdom from the sifted one!

You know I'm a fan, and I'm oh-so proud of your courage & tenacity. Walk on, girl.

Hugs,
Kathleen

laurette said...

Whoa!!!! Is right! What a wonderful revelation from God-Beautiful. Yes, you are! I am so glad to call you friend. God continues to do a mighty work in your life and your family as well.

My privilege to lift you up in prayer! You are loved!

Laurette

Just a little something from Judy said...

You share from the depths of your heart and I appreciate that. I am praying that God will continue show you in a real just how truly valuable you are to Him and to others, and that He gives you peace in your heart to believe it.

Melanie said...

Yes!
What a lovely post - full of love for the ONE who calls you "Beautiful."