Once again I have been absent from here because God has not given me anything to share. Well, maybe it is that there is so much to share but I don't know how to organize it. So, we'll just start writing and see where it leads. Last time I left you with the victory God gave me while attending my uncle's funeral. Victory. Ok, that is a word that has rolled around and around in my brain this week. Let me tell you why...
It has often been said during the 18 months of my illness that I might have to "walk out my healing". In other words, believe God for it and start living my life like I really do believe it. Attending the funeral was truly walking in faith that God would provide what I needed when I needed it. And boy did He. The really cool thing is what I believe happened to me at the end of the service. During many of the hymns the congregation was asked to stand, however, I remained seated. That is, until the last hymn. Victory in Jesus. It was impossible to not stand up. I just had to! I believe God is healing me. I really do. It was almost as if I had to stand in faith knowing where my victory comes from and the healing began.
This has been the best week "physically" that I have had since the illness began. I gotta tell ya...I walked around downtown last night with 5 teenagers and my 2 little nieces. I went in some very crowded stores. I drove a car!! God and I, we did it together and we had a blast! I've been hesitant to write about feeling better and the prospect of a healing. Why? Because I am afraid that it won't last. That is satan. Ya know, it might not last but for now I need to proclaim the victory God is giving me. Life. Living it. It's great. What a joy.
And then...as one part of life seems to be healing the other part falls apart worse than ever. Things with Don (almost former husband) are horrible. It's not been this bad throughout the entire 9 months that we've been separated. However, if God promised me beauty from ashes, He did not say it would be easy. It may take me really, really having to forgive and show God's love and mercy. Not that Don is asking for it, but I know God is. Shoot!! I'd just rather stew and be mad. Help me to pray for Don's salvation and his healing. There is victory in Jesus. I live it!!