Our counselor told us that when there is a divorce, it's like a "tearing". It's not like a cut where it's easier to see how the pieces go back together. This is a tear. Rough edges. No way to put it back together to look anything like it did before.
Our family has been torn in the process of two people divorcing.
As hard as I try we keep taking one step forward and then five steps back. OH my flesh wants to give up. I don't want to be the "good guy" any more. I don't want to be the one who keeps all my feelings inside. (and a few cuss words!!) It's tiring, it wears me out. I believe I wrote a post about being the one who always takes the high road. I'm weary of walking that high road alone.
He is walking it with me. I've just spent the past half hour locked in my bathroom, bawling and crying out to God who I know is walking this with me. Why is HE allowing one person to inflict so much pain? Why won't HE (God) let us catch our breath before the next wave hits us? I don't know the answers to those questions, but I do know that God loves my kids more than I do. My head knows that, it's hard to fathom.
God is traveling this road with us. Before us. Behind us. In us. When we hurt, HE gets it.
Please pray for my little family of three. The tearing is excruciating right now.