Monday, March 1, 2010

Holding Fast and Rallying the Troops

When things in my life get too overwhelming, I tend to retreat. I suppose it's a form of denial. Denying that there are issues. Of course by retreating I am only making situations worse. They just pile up one on top of the other.

My absence here is a telltale sign that I have been retreating. And to be really honest, I also retreat from the Lord. I stop praying and stop reading my Bible. Yea....that does NOT help!

I read back through some past posts and I wonder, "what happened to that girl"? The girl with so much faith. The girl who relied on the Lord as if her life depended on it. The girl who knows true JOY because of her God.

Life happens and I know we all go through times in the wilderness. But I am sick of being in the wilderness! I want my focus and purpose back! Time to rally the troops. Yep, that includes you. It's been a long time since I've given you any kind of update on what is happening (really happening) in our family.

My illness is still a part of who I am. I don't want it to define me but it definitely still impacts my ability to do certain things. That gets frustrating and depresses me. I want to focus on how far God has brought me. From being bed bound to being able to participate in life most of the time!

David and Ellie still will not speak to their dad. We had a huge set back over the Christmas holiday. However....are you ready for how God works in some very bizarre ways in my life? Don's girlfriend (who had NOTHING to do with the break up of our marriage) wants to help in anyway that she can to bring about some resolution between Don and the kids. She came to my home the other day and stayed for two hours. God is going to use her to help bring healing. I just know it. She is an amazing person. I say that I want nothing more than for Don and the kids to have a relationship but my prayer life doesn't show that. I need to be on my face begging God for that daily! Look how much God has done already.

God has worked miracles in healing my heart as well. I've a long way to go but I have hope that I haven't felt for long time. Please pray that I will stop believing the lies that satan tries to feed me. That nobody will ever truly love me. That I can't trust. That I need to be fearful and anxious about money. That David will never give his heart back to the Lord.

I know this post is just all over the place but that's what happens when I spend so much time away. When I was reading my devotion this morning (which is the first time in AGES) it led me to read Deuteronomy 11:22. Here is the part that struck me "love the LORD your God, walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him."

Hold fast to HIM!! Don't you just love that picture.


Melanie said...

<3 beautiful. I love how real you are, no matter what you're facing you don't sugar coat where you are or what you're going through. praying for you girl. and david and ellie as well!

Sheena said...

Praying for need we are!! You are added to my prayer board so I will see it every morning!! So glad to see your post! Stay strong!

Kimberly said...


Always praying for you and miss you a lot!

kb <><

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Praying for you...and your kids....

Tia said...

It is an incredible honor that we can carry each other before the Father, one not to be taken lightly. Thank you for allowing us this honor along side you. And it is an honor to be counted among your friends.

Just in case you need an extra smile
f-h-u :D

Anonymous said...

so value your honesty.

and i got this mental picture of being anchored to Him...

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

I do love that word picture. I was wondering about you. I know what you mean. I like to hide, too, when things are rough. Praying for you my friend! Know He hasn't forgotten you. You are right in the palm of HIs hand!

Hope said...

Right there with ya, sister. (((HUGS)))

Sarah Soon-to-be Langhoff said...

So good to hear your heart, Sheryl! I've been thinking about you! I will cover you through this storm. I pray specifically, tonight, that the Lord's hand is placed on your heart so that, at least for tonight, you may have peace and that may be the beginning of a life of love found in Christ and peace!

ShEiLa said...

I think it is pretty easy to lose your focus... you just get caught up in the day to day existence.

I agree with Melanie...
so many times we put on a happy face and act as though everything is 'hunky-dory'. Life is tough and winning a battle is hard... and that is only the beginning.

Hang in there! YOU have more support than you know and all because you were able to admit... I need help and there is strength in numbers.


His Girl said...

praying for you.

and hoping you'll quickly return to the 'groove'

not just for you...

not just for me....

but for His glory.

He's got BIG plans for you, Lady! Don't want to wander too far off the path :)

UL Cards Fan said...

Love you Sheryl.

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

Sheryl, you were on my mind yesterday. Thank you for taking the time to share what is going on in your life. I will pray for you and your children. The times in the wilderness can cause so much despair.

"Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always" I Chron. 16:11

I love this verse! It states a simple truth. He is our strength we only need to seek Him.

Love you and covering you and yours in prayers!

Jackie said...

Hey Sheryl!

I've kinda been out of my groove lately, too!! Battle weariness, I think.

But I've heard the call of the Commander and it's time for me to take my post and stand!!

I'm standing with you sister and will be praying for you and your children!

He is Faithful!

Sweet Blessings!

The Worgess Family said...

God has worked WONDERS in your life already but I know it's still difficult when you get in a rut. Praying with you that you will feel His presence and will get back on solid ground.

I know (BIG TIME) that it's easier said than done, but you must constantly ignore the lies satan tells you. Lifelong process but the reward is amazing. :)

Love you and thank you for sharing your heart!

(to Tia...HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!)

Sassy Granny ... said...

I hope you know, that no matter how far away you might feel, you're connected because we're all praying for you. And you're back.

Yours is such a tough place to be. Be gentle with yourself, and kind. The fact that you spent 2 hours with the woman now in your husband's life, and that you see that as a positive thing - that's HUGE!

I think of Job, and Elijah, and Naomi, and many of the "greats" that simply had to retreat to recover. God is where you are.


Technonana said...

Just stopped by to check on you... and I see you are struggling with what I have been struggling with lately... not taking time to spend with HIM!!
I will pray for you, if you will pray for me!!!
I know that God STILL has a wonderful plan for your life... hang on Sista... there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Love You!!

nancygrayce said...

First, glad to see you back! I think we are all prone to have those times when we just can't face the stuff in our lives and retreat. Thanks for giving us the chance to lift your needs to that wonderful throne of mercy!

He & Me + 3 said...

Your honest heart is refreshing. I am so glad that Don's girlfriend is willing to help. That is a bright side.
Praying for you today

Barbara said...

I think we all go thru wilderness experiences sometimes. But then once again we find ourselves..needing him, seeking him....and finding him......he is faithful even when we are not

Erin said...

You are awesome! One of my most favorite people and one day, I will meet you in person and give you a big ol' hug.

as bad as this might sound, I'm glad that I am not the only one who's been in the wilderness lately. I feel like I have lost my...obsession with God. And I know I haven''s just Satan telling me that I have. And its the same with you. We are the same girls we were several months ago.

Like every relationship, the one with Our Father ebbs and flows. Sometimes it's overwhelming and other times we have to look for it a little more. Right now, I am in the "looking for it" stage.

He still loves us and I still love you! I will be praying for your children.


Just a little something from Judy said...

I missed you, but let me tell you that did not stop me from thinking about you and praying for you and David and Ellie. As for the desert times in life...they are there for all of us. There is nothing unusual about that. The best part of that is that His mercy and grace are steadfastly waiting for us when we come back. That just never ceases to amaze me. One moment at a time. Your honesty is refreshing. Afterall, He knows all of our thoughts before we even express them verbally. So who are we trying to kid when we act like all is well, all the time?

Welcome back! Thanks again for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

The first step back is running into His arms! He will never leave you alone and He DEARLY loves you no matter what the lies may tell you. He will always love you and He is always there. Hold onto His hand dear friend!

I see Him holding you in His arms and whispering in your ear that everything will be okay. He will take care of you in any and every situation. He loves you SO much... He won't ever leave you hangin'. He gives you friends to pray for you and support you with His love. I am here for you as well and praying for you.

Laura said...

My dear sweet friend.. I know that you have been thorough it but just know that I am praying.. He will restore.. He will take those ashes and make them beautiful.. Just know that I love ya and am praying. Love you.

Cindy said...

I've not stopped praying for you.. Glad you posted today with an update. God will not let go of you!!! You are precious to HIM!

Blessings my friend,

sonja said...

It's been awhile since I've visited here, but I'm so glad I stopped by today. First... BE ENCOURAGED! You have been through some really tough things, but God has not left you for a second... and I see by your words that He is showing you new things, and reminding you that He is with you.

There are times when we FEEL bone dry, and distant from Him, but He is in even those times, working on us and gently taking us through.

I would say you have shown some very impressive courage and kindness. I love your heart, and SO DOES HE!!!

Keep on trekkin'... you're on the right path! He's got much ahead for you...



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