Sunday, September 21, 2008

Running and Chasing

Chasing and Running. Running and Chasing. That's been the theme of my life hasn't it, Lord? Running from you and chasing after other things. Chasing things that do not satisfy and that leave me feeling empty. But at the moment they meet whatever need I think I have. They meet it quicker than I think You will or I wouldn't be chasing after them. I wouldn't be running AWAY from you, I would be running TO you if I thought you would really satisfy. Wow, the things I have chased in my life! And most of the time I have caught them and have paid a pretty big price. Odd that I had to chase them...even in that, You were trying to protect me from reaching them. I had to work to get them.

I ran to you as a child. With no reservation. Nobody had to coax me to believe You. I had that childlike faith and I loved you Lord. Everyone who talked to me got an earful about You and how they should love You. That changed so quickly when I felt that You had really let me down. Why was I so easily moved from my sure faith? Looking back I know it's because my roots hadn't had time to grow deep enough. I was still too young to really understand You and your sovereignty. How was I to know that through my dad's death you would do amazing things? How did I know that you really meant it when you said "all things work together for good"? Looking back I am so sorry that I began my running and chasing - what desperation I would have avoided!

Lord, I am still suffering consequences of that chasing. And you know...I am glad that there are scars. Otherwise I may have never learned the lesson. The lesson that You are the only One who satisfies. Not men, addictions, approval, being chosen, friends, living without boundaries, none of those things satisfied me! But I sure chased them. Chasing things that were off limits. Chasing things that would bring death. Chasing things that would lead to deep anguish. Chasing a life that I thought would bring healing and instead brought pain unspeakable.

BUT...You do satisfy. You did not give up on me. I ran. I chased. But You stayed right where you were waiting for my return. Grieving for what You had in store for me but letting me run and learn what I needed to learn. Without these lessons I've learned I would not be who I am today. Would I choose the same path again - no way. But thank you that You never stopped loving me. Lord please show me what True satisfaction is so that I will never again feel the need to chase after the lies.

Here's my life...it is Yours! You are in the process of making me whole again. Father, forgive all that chasing. I need to confess how many I must have caused to stumble because of my running and chasing. Many lives hurt along the way. None more than mine. But if You can bring beauty from this life it should be a testament to everyone that You really do satisfy. You love like no other! You are the meeter of ALL needs if we'll only let You. Lover of my soul - that is where I need to be satisfied, deep down in my soul.

May I stop chasing. Stop running. Unless I'm running to you.


17 comments:

Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

This reminds of the song, "And God Ran." It talks about His great love for us and how He pursues and runs after us until He catches us. I'm praying with you that this race will permanently become one in which you are able to freely and joyfully run after Him because I know He will stand still long enough for you to catch Him.

Praying for His very best for you and your precious children.

R.L.Scovens said...

I stopped chasing back in 2005. Since then, I've dedicated (seriously) my life to God for Him to do whatever He will with it! It's hard to find others who say they want the same thing and are really trying to live it out!

I praise God for your honesty and frankness. I pray you stay focused. That's what we both need!

iteachpe said...

Wow-what great honesty and wisdom!Love reading your blog! It's such a hard lesson to learn. To follow hard after Him and not the things of this world. Oh that we may learn that He alone will satisfy!
love ya and praying for you!
mel

Kimberly said...

Running from God, who does that? HA! If only we spent all the energy that we use to run from Him to run to His Mercy Seat! How much better life would be! Thanks for your honesty and encouragement!

Love you my sweet friend,
Kimberly

Jenn said...

It seems like it is all to easy to run from our loving Father. We get bull headed and take off in the other direction. Thanks for sharing.

Laura said...

Sheryl,

I was reading your post tonight and the song called The Mercy Seat came to my mind.
Here are the lyrics. They really spoke to my heart.
I love you dearly.
May we always run to him.
*****************************

In the darkness, where ev'rything is unknown,
I faced the power of sin of my own.
I did not know of the place I could go,
where I could find a way to heal my wounded soul.

He said that I could come into His presence without fear,
into the holy place where His mercy hoovers near.

I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat
where Jesus is calling.
His grace will be my covering,
His blood will flow freely, it will provide my healing.
I'm running to the mercy seat.

Are you living where hope has not been?
Lost in the curse of a lifetime of sin?
Lovely illusions, they never come true,
but I know where there's a place of mercy for you.

He said that you could come into His presence without fear,
into the holy place where His mercy hoovers near.

Come running, come running, come running to the mercy seat
where Jesus is calling,
His grace will be your covering.
His blood will flow freely,
it will provide your healing.
Come running to the mercy seat.

He said that I could come into His presence without fear,
into the holy place where His mercy hoovers near.

I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat
where Jesus is calling,
His grace will be my covering.
His blood will flow freely,
it will provide my healing.
I'm running to the mercy seat.

I'm running to the mercy seat.
Come running to the mercy seat.
I'm running to the mercy seat.

UL Cards Fan said...

Dear Sheryl,
Your words reminded me of the Point of Grace song:
HEAL THE WOUND BUT LEAVE THE
SCAR
A REMINDER OF HOW MERCIFUL YOU
ARE
I AM BROKEN TORN APART
TAKE THE PIECES OF THIS HEART
AND HEAL THE WOUND BUT LEAVE THE
SCAR

This week's lesson from A HEART LIKE HIS included the study of COMMON BONDS, UNCOMMON FRIENDS.
1.Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear.
2.Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame.
3.Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance.
Beth goes on to say that " The Spirit of God sometimes cements two people together as part of His plan. Uncommon friends are joined by a common bond: the Spirit of God."
I am blessed to have you as my Uncommon Friend.
Love, LINDA

nancygrayce said...

"Run with perseverance the race set before you"....Although we can't always see where we're running, if God is beside us it's o.k. Praying!

Sheryl said...

Sheryl,

Why do we run away from HIM and toward things that only hurt and do not satisfy. Why do we look at things that happen in this world (natural things) and turn away from the ONE who heals, loves, makes whole?

Thank you for your words. I am praying for you (and me) in our running and chasing. May we always run and chase after HIM.

Sheryl D

Becca and Dee said...

Beautifully written honest and heartfelt words. You could have written that for any of us!

Becca

Sharon said...

What a great post, and a wonderful reminder, As I try everyday to stay focused, and this is just the reminder I needed. I have noticed with myself since I have joined this bloggie world I am more focused than ever, and found that I have been chasing him down more and more everyday. I have a long run still ahead, and plan on notttt losing my breath.
God Bless
Sharon

Paula (SweetPea) said...

There is much meat in your heartfelt expression to the Lord. The run and chase seems to be a part of our natural fleshly instinct. I don't know that we are ever 100% cured from it in that we are never tempted to run and chase something in this world but He sure can heal us from the major running and chasing of our lives.

Isn't funny how we think no one has ever been as "bad" as us until someone is so honest and real and shares it like you have here. As I read your words, I thought surely not, you seemed to have it together despite the current trials in your life.

I think it's one more way God blesses us when we discover how others have a tarnished past and life of regrets of choices.

Thanks, Sheryl. You continue to be in my prayers: your health, heart, Don, marriage, it all.
Love,
Paula

Mandi Cornett said...

Why? Oh, how I wish and pray that I won't run away and chase other things again. But I do, all too often...all those things that won't satisfy. Oh the Great Grace and Mercy of Our Loving Father and the Kindness...that leads us to repentance.

thank you so much for sharing...you are blessed.

Ang baylis said...

Oh, Sheryl! This post hit home on so many levels. I want to chase after Him, too! I get so distracted too many times. He is all we need. Thank you for this encouraging post. It was sad, yet encouraging at the same time! He is so good and knows the plans He has for you, because you DO love Him!
I'm praying for you!
Love,
Angie xoxo

Cheryl said...

Sheryl,

We need those scars to learn our lessons. Great post!

Blessings!
Cheryl

A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

I could have written that post myself - only not with such eloquence. You painted such a beautiful picture about running to Him instead of from Him.

It brings to mind the picture of the parable about the prodigal son...

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

He's the Lord and God who has compassion on you and us all.

Thank you for letting us walk besides you on your journey with the Lord.

Myriam

Anonymous said...

Sheryl,
Thanks for the great post! As others have said, you could have written it for me also. I have some pretty deep scars also. Didn't even know they were appearing until they were here. As always you have a wonderful way of saying what I am feeling and just can't put into words.

Love,
Jeani