Thursday, September 4, 2008

Um...I Have No Idea

You all that have been with me over the past several months are used to me just coming here and spewing it out. That's what I'm doing again. No idea what to write yet feel compelled. I'm not sure how that works but here goes anyway.

I had two friends send books to me the other day. One is a real dear friend, the other one - well, not so much! (I am kidding, just want them to wonder which one they are). By the way I have never met either of them in the flesh. Isn't it amazing how God brings us friends that we may never meet this side of heaven? Anyway, both of these books happened to deal with loss and starting life over in your "new normal". Curious. I am several chapters into the one when I decide to just read the prologue of the other. Well what book do you think is quoted in that prologue - oh yes, the first book I am reading. Okay these kind of things have the tendency to freak me out. Like, God is literally yelling something at me and I better listen. So, I did what any reasonable woman would do and quickly slammed the book shut!

Out to my kitchen I went to do...well, nothing. And I said "okay God what are you trying to tell me, what am I missing?". I am pretty sure in my spirit He told me that there are areas I need to slow down in (the grieving process) and areas that I need to start moving forward in (my new normal). Well, they don't seem to go together but oddly I get it. My marriage is going to end (I know it's not over til it's over, but just go with me here) and I will be single. Something I have not been for a very very long time. That deserves a time of grieving and mourning. Truly to acknowledge the death of a dream and a life that I thought I would live. However, in acknowledging that I can move ahead in my "new normal". Make the plans that are necessary to be a single parent - especially one with limited physical abilities. Make the most of the life I have - it is sweet, it truly is a sweet life.

My "new normal" is one where I get to be attentive to my children more. They need me more than ever - even though they're older. They need me because they have hearts that hurt and question, but I am offered the opportunity to pour more into them. Because I'm home (all the time) they have me when they need me. I am the only disciplinarian in the house, that is not always a bad thing - embrace it. Even though single, God is providing more than our needs. I am grateful to Don for his generosity in that respect. This "new normal" means the kids ask things of the Lord they may never have had the need to ask. They can grow and learn things that most people never get the chance to learn. Sure it's through very difficult circumstances but let's look at these things as a blessing instead of a curse.

I loved my husband as best I knew how. God walked with me during some very difficult years yet continued to give me a love for Don. If it's over, I will know I did all I could. Single? Me? That is not something that sits well with me, but being single does not mean I am alone.

Mourning and rejoicing. How can they possibly go together? They can go together because God is in it. Right in the middle of each and every circumstance that comes my way. And that comes your way. I am sad yet I look expectantly toward the future knowing that my "new normal" won't be normal at all. It will be a life filled with the power of Jesus Christ! That is not normal!!


18 comments:

Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

Who wants to be "normal" if living without Jesus is "normal?" Not me! I'll be weird any time if it means I am identified with Christ!

Although I'm still sad you're going through these difficult times, it warms my heart to see you SEARCHING for the blessings and looking for the positives in all of this. That shows true growth and maturity because we know that we know that we know our God is good - all the time!

I pray God will continue to whisper to your heart and rain down His blessings on you and your children. You are so precious!

Kim in NC said...

Sheryl,

All kinds of emotions are expected when someones life is altered in a tremendous way as yours has been.

Not every day will be the same but God IS in the middle of it to see you thru the not-so-good days.

Enjoy this precious time with your kids. You all will reflect on this season of your lives someday. And I have no doubt that they will be so completely grateful for you being there for them!

As for your friends, they are both probably so thrilled to have crossed paths with you - regardless of you messin' with them!

Blessing to you!
Kim

june said...

I wonder what "normal" is. I have
been married, divorced and married
again. Eash stage requires a special grace. I will continue
to keep you in my prayers.

Try to relax and enjoy the ride.
by this I did not mean that you
will not feel grief and be lonesome what is important is that you feel....truly feel..that way
you can let it go.

June

Michelle said...

I'm so glad I visited you today and read this blog post, Sheryl. Your positive attitude has really blessed me and got me to thinking about what my own "new normal" is quickly becoming. You're so right - God truly IS in the middle of each and every circumstance that comes your way and mine...and that is such an awesome revelation to hold onto! Thanks for sharing your heart :)

Praying for you!

Blessings :)
Michelle

UL Cards Fan said...

Beautiful words Sheryl. You are truly a gifted writer. I cherish your friendship and thank you for your prayers.
Love,
Linda (your PIP)

Jenn said...

Sheryl, You amaze me! I don't even have the words I need to tell you what an awesome post that was! Thank you!

Sheryl said...

Sheryl,

I am praying for you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult it must be. What I like is that nothing surprises God. He knows what He has in store for you as you are closing the door on one "normal" and opening the door on another one.

Allow God to work with you through the grief process. It's the only way you will heal.

Sheryl D

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sheryl,
A wise older women who I truly respected in church when I first became a christian once told me..

Don't let anyone tell you when it's time to "get over it".. everyone greives in different ways and you better than anyone else will know when you are ready, You will know in your heart and through the leading of the Lord. For me when I was going through my own grief, I was allowed to go through certain losses in my life some took longer then others, but the Lord was always there to meet me and take me through and gave me peace when it was time to move on.. it is so awesome how he does it such as how he is speaking to you today be through a book, or other ways.

Stay encouraged, you are a blessing my sistah!!

Hugz Lorie

Hugz Lorie

A little about me said...

Hi Sheryl!

Someone once told me that "normal" is a setting on the dryer. Years later, I get that.

Glad you are learning to live in your "new normal" and realizing that it is what God has planned for you all along.

Also glad you are realizing it's okay to have the human emotions that you feel!

You inspire me, friend

Love you bunches,
Kimberly

Earthmommy said...

He Lord is clearing out the old to make room for the new in your life, my dear! Hang in there. I am praying for you daily as your honesty in sharing your journey has so inspired me.

Ang baylis said...

You are growing SO much! I can tell! Don't be too hard on yourself. You need to go through all of the stages and your children will be better off if you do! I am so glad you have this blog to share your feelings and get some encouragement from your sisters in Christ! You are ahead of me! I'm praying for you to continue to go straight to the "lifter of heads". He is SO capable.
We love you out here in blogland!
Angie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

iteachpe said...

I can't imagine you ever being "normal" haha. As I told you before,love your attitude! God is using you and blessing you in ways that I am sure you wouldn't have dreamed of years ago. And He still has more for you... So forget normal.. who needs it :-)
P.S.- this isn't normal-posted 2 wks in a row-ha

Anonymous said...

Sheryl you are such a blessing. As you know I came over from the Siestas In Him blog. I am so happy to have met you. Something you said about grieving what you have lost really hit me. I was married for 25 years and got divorced. I was so busy trying to act like I had it all together that I didn't grieve. In fact yesterday would have been my 38th anniversary. I didn't whether to celebrate it or mourn it. However, I am still single and am feeling some of the same things that you talk about. I do want to say one thing. If your situation had been different you might never had been on the Siestas for Him blog and we (alot of us) would never have met you. God does work in mysterious ways. Hang in there. I love your posts.
Love,
Jeani

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

Is there such a thing as "normal" anymore? I mean really! Look around us. Your new normal is right where God would have you so be teachable and moldable and listen for Him. He will bless and heal as only He knows how. Hang on to His promise of that!

In His Graces~Pamela

Anonymous said...

Hi Sheryl,

Your kids are so fortunate to have such an awesome mom. You are creating a comforting environment for them despite the chaos that has come into your lives.

Glad to hear that you are getting acquainted with your new life. Can't wait to hear what you uncover next.

Love
Denise in Texas

Cheryl said...

Sheryl~

How very powerful! Life is not always what we had thought, hoped, wanted, etc., and I'm living proof of that. I understand your comment about the grieving process in one area and moving forward in the next. Several years ago now, I went through a grieving process of more than 1 loss. I remember telling my counselor "I just want it to be over." It felt like I was stuck in this one spot for a very long time and didn't feel I would ever get through. Finally today I have peace about this because I allowed God to take over. Grieving and moving on is difficult, but I think you are accepting and trusting God to guide you. Me, I was more stubborn or resistent, so maybe I had to learn some lessons along the way.

Keep trusting and putting your faith in God and before long, He will guide you to where you should be.

Isn't it amazing how our God works!

Praying for you!
Cheryl

Susan said...

Hi Sheryl,

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a word of encouragment the other day. We are trying to get back to our normal now.

I love reading your posts and watching you grow.

You give me HOPE... Our God is faithful. Continue to glorify Him.

Blessings♥

A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

'New normal' - I love that.

I thought of the 2 verses below as I was reading the post and thought of the previous ones (posts):

Like Habakkuk we've said 'How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?'

and He said:

'For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told'

Sounds like a 'new normal'

Thanks for being so transparent - I am learning tons. Praying for you.

Myriam