What is my part in my marriage ending? It sounds so cliche' that it takes two. But it is the truth. I've spent a lot of time in my mind (hopefully not much on here) spewing about Don and what God needs to fix in Don. Well, what about me? What is my part? If Don meets Jesus in a very real and personal way. If God then asks me to take Don back...what about me? I've got a lot of changing to do too. I am sure I am less than easy to live with. Does God really hold the number one position in my life? Would Don get the respect, forgiveness and wife that he deserves?
As you can see, I've got a lot of questions, but not a whole lot of answers. I just know that God is asking me to do some digging in my heart. Some confession needs to take place. Introspection. Looking closely in the mirror. Being real. Getting real with what kind of wife I really was to Don.
I want you to know that Don is going to counseling tomorrow. He called me a week or so ago and said he would go and talk with David's counselor. Not for himself but to see what could be done to start repairing his relationship with the kids. He doesn't think he's going there for himself, but as any of you know that have been in counseling know, he will soon realize that he truly is there for himself. This is huge! This is God! Not by my suggestion. I haven't told the kids (yet). It hasn't seemed the right time and I am just leaving that up to the Lord to work that out. David will go and see Rich (counselor) on Thursday anyway, so maybe it's for Rich to tell. Can you imagine what that will do to David's heart to know that his dad went to counseling. Oh, thank you, Jesus!!
Now, let's start digging out this root - this forest - in my heart! Prepare me for whatever it is you have for me in the future. It may be a future without Don but I know I cannot go forward in what you have for me without getting my heart right. Please, Lord, be gentle. But let's get to work. I am excited to do my part.