Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My Part

What is my part in my marriage ending? It sounds so cliche' that it takes two. But it is the truth. I've spent a lot of time in my mind (hopefully not much on here) spewing about Don and what God needs to fix in Don. Well, what about me? What is my part? If Don meets Jesus in a very real and personal way. If God then asks me to take Don back...what about me? I've got a lot of changing to do too. I am sure I am less than easy to live with. Does God really hold the number one position in my life? Would Don get the respect, forgiveness and wife that he deserves?

As you can see, I've got a lot of questions, but not a whole lot of answers. I just know that God is asking me to do some digging in my heart. Some confession needs to take place. Introspection. Looking closely in the mirror. Being real. Getting real with what kind of wife I really was to Don.

I want you to know that Don is going to counseling tomorrow. He called me a week or so ago and said he would go and talk with David's counselor. Not for himself but to see what could be done to start repairing his relationship with the kids. He doesn't think he's going there for himself, but as any of you know that have been in counseling know, he will soon realize that he truly is there for himself. This is huge! This is God! Not by my suggestion. I haven't told the kids (yet). It hasn't seemed the right time and I am just leaving that up to the Lord to work that out. David will go and see Rich (counselor) on Thursday anyway, so maybe it's for Rich to tell. Can you imagine what that will do to David's heart to know that his dad went to counseling. Oh, thank you, Jesus!!

Now, let's start digging out this root - this forest - in my heart! Prepare me for whatever it is you have for me in the future. It may be a future without Don but I know I cannot go forward in what you have for me without getting my heart right. Please, Lord, be gentle. But let's get to work. I am excited to do my part.


32 comments:

R.L.Scovens said...

You're willing to do your part and that's ALL God ever asks from us!

Marshmallow Circus said...

Hi, I'm not in your situation but wanted to say how brave it is of you to examine your part. We can't grow if you do not learn from ourselves. :)

Becca and Dee said...

Praying for you my sweet friend.

Kimberly said...

Sherly,

Thanks for making me think, what might my part be? Love ya bunches and praying for ya like crazy as always!

KB

Melinda said...

I cannot begin to tell you how much I admire your heart and attitude at this juncture of your life, Sheryl. It's when hearts are open that God can truly do the miraculous.

Oh blessing dear one.

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

What a precious...precious...heart you have my friend.

I'll be praying for Don...that as he mets with the counselor, his heart will be tender, and broken, and he will see his need to cling to the Savior.

Hang in their friend...God IS moving.

Kim in NC said...

Sheryl,

Thanks for allowing us a glimpse of how God is working in your life.

You continue to amaze me w/your strength and courage, and oh yes, even your wisdom!

Love ya',
Kim

Paula (SweetPea) said...

It may take two to end a marriage but by no means does that mean the scales are even. I can attest that I was a huge problem in my own marriage but I had no part or no choice in deciding to end it the way it was. It takes a lot to be a willing partner in restoring a marriage. It is a huge effort, one that God will bless in His own way.

You are so right that God needs to get both partners to where they need to be individually and then begin the restoring of the relationship.

I'm by no means where I should be but I'm no where near what I use to be. I don't believe we ever to fully to where we should be (until Heaven).

I think we are both in similar situations...where we recognize the need for healing, growth, and work yet our partners are still in denial of even needing help. Even my beloved who is walking with the Lord doesn't know he needs the help he does. I don't mean that condesending but I can tell he's in denial about his own anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and thus unresolved feelings/issues.

God can't get to work on any of us until we recognize we need His surgical hand on us.

You are an inspiration in your honesty and realness.
Paula

UL Cards Fan said...

OH Sheryl,
Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I read your words. Praise Jesus for Don's willingness to reach out to David and Ellie and how proud I am of you for your honesty and vunerability on here . May I be as willing as you to have my heart "weeded".

Love, LINDA

Anonymous said...

Yes we all do have to do our parts it does take2.I need to change as does Ron.I am praying for all of you, you to be healed the marrage healed .Anything else that is needed. God bless vicky

Named Alicia said...

oh wow! Introspection always hurts. I admire your bravery. And yes, it is a miracle that he is going to counseling even if it is just for the kids. God is always working. May He continue to work in Don's heart and yours. Thanks for sharing!

Pam said...

being willing to be made willing... i just read that recently and pray it alot...

...the counseling is a huge step... praying it goes well...

...it's only been words for us... HSSH said he'd go... for the kids... but still hasn't...

...losing hope...

...but hopeful for you... yours looks so much more promising than mine...

...talk to you soon....

Jennifer said...

One step at a time---it's amazing how HE works within us and all around us. keep us posted.

Cindy said...

Sheryl,
We all share a part in each of the relationships God gives us.
I am so proud of you for coming to this place that you have shared with us.
You are ready and God is willing.
He loves you and will walk the path with you.
I will be praying.
Cindy

Laura said...

Sheryl,

I have no idea what to say cause I have never been in your place but know that I am praying and I am so proud of your willinginess to be open to what GOD would have you do and be.

Love ya,
Laura

Susan said...

PRAISE GOD!!!!


God is truly hearing your/our prayers.

Ruthie said...

The most recent end of myself rocked my world but gave me Soooooo much more than I could have ever asked.
Your willingness is all God needs to change your heart, whatever that means! God wants to heal your heart and make you ready whatever relationship He has in store.
It is an exciting journey!

Truth4thejourney said...

Oh wow! You have such a precious heart. I'm walking with a very close friend as she is separated (has been for the past year now) and it is so challenging. But God has given her the strength to continue. I pray He will continue to give you wisdom

Sonya

Courtney said...

Oh, Sheryl, how wonderful! How wonderful it is that Don made the decision on his own to take that first step. And how wonderful it is that you are truly opening yourself up to be introspective - that can be such a difficult and scary thing to do. God is working here.

And Courtney is praying here! :)

Hope today is a good day, my friend.

Robin said...

I am almost crying reading your words...lots of reminders of all that God has done in my heart over the last few years.

I'll be praying for you and your family! Our God is a God of miracles!

Robin

Courtney said...

Umm...please don't get a "life" just yet. I still need your votes. :) You have my permission to get a life after December 10th. :) Now get back to work....please? :)

Courtney

Suzanne said...

Hey sweet lady, sorry I haven't been to your blog in a while. Thanks for stopping to say hi at mine.

Glad to hear that Don is willing to go to counseling, whatever the reason. Praying for your family!

katemcdonald said...

glad he's going to counseling... SO GLAD I found your blog..thanks for the kind words.

Amrita said...

Dearest Sheryl,
Today i bought a book by Bishop TD Jakes called Woman Thou Art Loosed. Hehas wriiten it specially for women - these are devotions for healing the past and restoring the future.

I have not read it yet, buti just thought of you.Try and get it. It looks good to me.

Gina@Chats With An "Old Lady" said...

God is at work! GOD IS AT WORK!!!! Wow! This is exciting!
Keep clinging!!!!
God Bless!!!
I'm so encouraged by reading about your journey!

tonsofsons said...

I just found your blog and realized that God is performing a miracle.

God Bless your marriage, my sister!

http://tonsofsons.wordpress.com

His Girl said...

I am so amazed with what an incredible woman you are allowing God to make you into.

such a blessing!

Mary said...

Sheryl, here is something kinda funny! I was still working on my post, Merry Christmas. . .with love when all at once I realized it had published! I was about ready to delete when I realized that you had made a comment. I loved what you said so I guess I'll just let it be!
And, yes, a mother's heart sees exceptional beauty in the things their children make.

Although I have been silent about commenting for awhile, I continue to read. "The Perch" continues to bless not only me but many others.
You have an amazing ability to "pour out your heart" and allow us to walk the pathway with you.
How precious you are!

Mary

Edie said...

Oh Sheryl you have a beautiful heart. And after reading about your illness in your sidebar, I have a feeling you have quite a story to tell. I love the work that God is doing in you and in your marriage. I will be back to read more.

Rich Blessings to you!

Edie said...

Oh - regarding you comment about following my blog. It does have a feed and you are following. Blogger gives me that message with a lot of people that I follow and then it works anyway. Go figure. :)

Tiffany Stuart said...

You are going to the right place. To God. And I know as you examine your forest(Cute) you will find both living and dead trees. In the end, it's going to make you more beautiful. I am proud of you.

I am especially thankful to God for Don's willingness to seek counseling.

Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

Reminds me of something my mom used to say to me. "When you're busy pointing at someone else to highlight their weaknesses, realize three of your own fingers are pointing right back at YOU!" Sounds like the same thing the Lord is leading you through. And yes, He may have work to do in Don's heart, but PRAISE GOD, He is still at work in each of us, too! Hard to keep that in focus sometimes when life gets in the way.

Still praying for all of you and believing God for all kinds of healing miracles!