Last week I wrote this post asking you all to pray for Don. Then a couple of days ago Sybil came out and I never thanked you for your prayers OR gave you an update. Please forgive me for being SO rude.
With that out of the way I really do want to thank you for interceding for Don and for our family. The response from all of you was humbling and brought such comfort. Because there are now some "in real life" people reading this blog (NO, Don is not reading this) I am going to be very protective of what I say here. However, I can tell you that Don is going to continue with going to counseling AND I know for a fact that there will be some movement towards healing between Don and David (our son). Sorry to sound like I don't trust you all with information, but not everyone is fully informed yet. (make any sense?)
I am just so grateful for the peace that I have when Don and I communicate now. That is only of God. Life is extremely difficult being a single parent and battling this illness but God really is so good. That becomes such an overused phrase but it is true. God IS good. It is who He is. In the midst of raising two teenagers who are angry, hurt, disappointed, joyful, loving, caring (do they sound at all like their mother, Sybil) God is showing up in huge ways in all of our lives. He is protecting us. Providing. Interceding. Loving. Healing. Preparing. I just want to get out of the way and let HIM lead the way.
Lately I've been thinking about how "good" I am doing. It seems so odd that although my marriage is over and my new normal means I cannot do a lot of what I used to - I still think my life is good. I am enjoying it. Shoot, I feel like I am moving on and I don't know if that's ok. I don't mean moving on to someone else but just moving on to this next phase of my life. The phase without Don. It's been almost a year already but it seems like yesterday that he left. My prayer is that one day he will be doing "good" as well. There's a Garth Brooks song (I will wait for those of you who know me to stop laughing) that I heard on my friend Pam's blog...anyway the song is called "She's Gonna Make It". It speaks of the woman making it and the man never healing. Oh I pray that is not us! Can't believe how much my heart hurts for Don. Just for his heart. For his pain.Who would have thought that the one who was left behind and "wronged" would be the one that prays for the healing of one who inflicted the pain.
Again...that is God! How can anyone not believe that God is real and alive and active. I pray that those of you who come here and read, don't just read to hear updates. I pray that somehow God is using this to change me and using me to point others to Jesus. If you don't know my God I hope you would contact me and we can "talk". If you are struggling in your marriage, it would be my privilege to walk the road with you. You've all been such an encouragement to me, I want to be sure that my life is making a difference.
Am I rambling? Yes. Thank you for your prayers. Don is going to walk into his healing. So am I!!