Thursday, January 15, 2009

Standing in Awe

My heart is racing today. Not sure why. But usually means God has something He wants me to say. Once again, as I am famous for (well, not really famous, but go with me) I will just start spewing and we'll see what God has.

I've been out and about enjoying life some these past several days. Well, enjoying may not be a good choice of words since I am helping my friends who lost their home in a fire. But for me to be out and be almost symptom free is enjoyable. I am trying to get to the point where I can tell people that I am feeling better without hesitating. You know what I'm talking about...not sure if I'm really healed so don't want to say anything yet. But for that moment I am healed and I need to shout it. What a joy it is to be a blessing to others right now. For 19 months I basically have been at home. To be out of here and among other people and feeling productive...oh what joy!!

Yesterday I cried when someone asked about Don. (my husband) I did not cry for myself but for him. You see, not many people ask about him except in general terms. It is so hard to tell people how he is living and what his life is like right now. Because of his generosity to us (myself and the kids) he is living off of almost no money. In conditions that are honestly a bit frightening to me. My heart breaks for him. I want so badly for him to find the healing that he does not know he needs. Oh I am so grateful for how he provides for us even though he would not have to do what he is. Sure there are those who would say that he left, he owes us and providing financially is the easy way out. I say...I am proud of him.

He is still seeing the counselor. Isn't that so amazing? Oh boy, God has plans for that man. I cannot wait to see what they are. I am scared when I think that God may really ask me to take Don back someday. I like my life. It's peaceful. It's free from conflict. It's mine. But that's the lie - it's not my life, it's God's. And if I really believe that then I need to get my heart ready to do whatever HE may ask. (shoot!!)

I told you that I was doing the Scripture memory on the LPM blog. So the second Word that God has given me to memorize is also from Habakkuk. Do you think He is going to ask me to memorize the whole book? Here is the one I am meditating on now:

Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy. Hab 3:2

When I read that, so many things flood through my mind. I DO stand in awe of His deeds. He amazes me. All He has done throughout time and yet He is mindful of me and He is mindful of you. He is still the same God that created all we have, who parted the Red Sea, who brought His Son back to life...HE IS THE SAME GOD. Let's know Him as that God. Not put Him in a box or think that's how He used to act. I want Him to come and do those same amazing deeds in my life and in the life of my family. When I read the last part, that is when I think of Don. Lord, when you are disciplining Don, please have mercy. I know you will. I know you love him more than any of us ever could. May we stand in awe of what you are doing in our family. May your name be made known because of it.


27 comments:

Jenn said...

First of all- Praise The LORD that you are feeling better and your symptoms are diminished. Secondly, your honesty is refreshing! There are things in my life that I feel I can't put out there because of what others will think. Plus I have people that read my blog that I have to face weekly. Not sure I'm ready to deal with all that.

Love the truths in the verse from Habakuk. He is an awesome God.

Pam said...

I continue to stand with you in awe, praise, and belief for your healing... I konw it is hard to say it aloud... but you are doing a good job. And YOU WILL HAVE HEALING! I just know it!

Second, your tears... is someone's heart breaking over someone?? I think it is... I think that God is so preparing your heart... I was thinking of you the other day, and a phrase came to mind... Lord, I am willing to be made willing. ( think I told yout hat before.) but isn't it true? we want to do what God wants... but our flesh stands in our way, and we can't do it on our own... you are so willing to be made willing and it looks so good on you!

Sheryl said...

Sheryl,

Just want you to know I am continuing to pray for Don. God can and will do amazing things in the lives of your family members.

Love you so much!

Sheryl

Tammy said...

I too stand in awe of God.

Don't stop praying for your husband because I know personally how God can change the situation.

I'm always reminded about Daniel when he ask Micheal the angel"Why it took him 21 days to answer his pray?" Micheal replied "I was fight the enemy." (my paraphase)

I often wondered what would have happened to my marriage,if I had given up and stopping praying.

In His Grace,
Tammy

Jenny said...

I am so glad I dropped by your blog today! That verse just jumped out for me, can I share it??

I am really glad to read that you are feeling better and that Don is still in counseling. Chad and I went to a marriage thingy once and one of the couples leading it were divorced 5 years before they remarried. They were great to hear.

Jen

Paula (SweetPea) said...

It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you are living symptom free. Yes, I do know what you mean about proclaiming full healing. I have had a certain condition for over 20 years. I've seen months of improvements and then just terrible times. I'm on a new medicine and I've seen healing on this medicine and then saw it go back to not so healed. Now, I'm in days of beautiful healing. I'm claiming it. If it worsens I'll trust God and claim the healing again.

It was so precious to hear you say you are proud of Don. You are right, the world would say "he owes you" but that doesn't mean he would have to. Trust me, I was left holding the entire financial and emotional bag. Not right. Not fair. Not justice. So, yes, we are all proud that he is providing what he is. Sounds like NOT just the bear minimum the law might require. Praise you, Jesus, for Don's financial responsibility over his family. Thank you, Lord, that you are working in his heart and using counseling for his good. Thank you, Lord, for the healing on Sheryl. We praise you for the miracles just on the horizon.

I know you are unsure of being ready to accept Don back but I know you trust the Lord in His timing. Who knows what tomorrow brings and He could bring a suddenly your way. A sudden peace and readiness to Don's return home.

You are beautiful Sheryl. I would love to get back to keeping in touch via email.
Love,
Paula

UL Cards Fan said...

I am proud of Don too. He is doing the RIGHT thing for his family, not just what he needs to do legally.

I have been in tears several times over the last few days when I reflect on the fact that our Holy, All powerful Father cares about the very details of my life and yours.

Thank you Jesus for healing my friend and for touching Don's heart to desire a restored relationship with his family.

Love you, LINDA

Jill said...

rejoicing with you Sheryl!
I so understand what you mean about being symptom free and not sure whether to say anything or not!!
but its just amazing, those moments, hours, even days when He does heal us completely and reminds us what that looks like, how it really feels!

He is Amazing!!!

and WOW!!! about Don still going to counseling, and the way he continues to provide for you and the kids...that is just Awesome!!!!

Sheryl,
thank you for sharing with all of us! you are such an encouragement!

love you,
jill

Tightening the Corset Again said...

Love your enemy... sounds like you're doing this in Don... it's so hard to get past the hurt and see that person as anything other than the cause of your pain. Developing true compassion for that person... it's beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

love and hugs!
heather

Susan said...

Hi Sadie,

I believe that heart a racing was God having something to say through you. He works in my heart the same way.

Love, Lila

Laura said...

Sheryl,

I am so excited to hear of the work that GOD is continuing to do physically and spiritually as well. As it says in Phil 1 that the work that was started in you will be brought to completion! God is continuing to mend your heart into what he wants. He is the potter and we are the clay. It is a song that I have repeated time and time again but its so true. All he asks is that we seek him with our whole heart.

Love you,

Laura

Kim said...

Hi Sheryl,

I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling better. Continue to trust God to do what He has promised to do in your life. I'm praying for you.

Kim

Technonana said...

Standing in Awe with you!! What a mighty God we serve!!! Healing on both parts!!God does indeed answer prayer!! And this WE KNOW and can testify to!!
Praying for you and with you.
Love,
Sharon

Amrita said...

Praise god you are feeling elevated. May God heal Don 's heart.

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

I am so glad to hear you are feeling well. I love the verse and can see a bit why it does speak to you based on what you've described.
I am trusting God for you and yours that He will renew His fame again in your life, Don and the kids - and we will all stand in awe of Him.
All in due time, Tammy mentioned the enemy being in the way while Daniel was waiting. Victory is yours - soon I pray.

Love you

Myriam

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sheryl,
(((Hugz))) Your heart is felt all over this post. I can sense so many emotions going on and you have such a spirit of compassion and understanding for Don. I pray that God's will be done and if you and Don are meant to be together I know the Lord will make a way for it to happen, and of course it will be in his time.
I continue to pray for you and that you will have the desire of your heart.I'm so happy to hear you have been feeling better, praise the Lord!!!

Luv ya Lorie

Debra said...

Sheryl,

I love your honesty and your sweet heart. Your love of the Lord and willingness to lay down your life and give it all to Him, touches me so!!

I am also immeasurably touched by your love of Don and believe, like you, that God has something so big in store for him.

Blessings to you today. Love the verse in Habakkuk!

Cheri' said...

Thanks for sharing your life and circumstances so candidly with us! You inspire me. When I read you were out and with people, I could feel your victory! I'm believing with you for complete and total healing! I admire your determination and also your unconditional love for your husband. You are an awesome woman of God! Thanks again!

Sharon said...

Hi Cheryl,
I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog while I was sick this past week.

I just read your post, it looks like God had a strong message waiting there for you to share, huh?

I also wanted to tell you, I did get the comment you left on the post on my blog about my own illness. We seem to have the same things going on with our health.

If you ever want to chat, don't be shy, I have yahoo, my username is mtairymomnc and I'd love to get to know you and talk about everything we have in common.

I hope you have a blessed weekend!
Love
Sharon

Beverly said...

I'm so thrilled to read that you're still feeling better. Oh my, I understand that the good days are still a precious suprise...and it will be even more precious when you wake expecting to feel well!

Thanks for sharing so much. I always come away from your writings with much to think about!

Lora said...

Sheryl,
Amen. What a fabulous Scripture, I just love His Word. I'm making that my prayer today and taking His Word personally and praying that He would apply Truth in my life too and that His mighty deeds and glorious fame would be real, touchable, seen and experienced. In His mighty Name, we have so much hope.
Hugs across the miles dear one.

nancygrayce said...

I'm so glad you are having good days! I know the Lord is working on both you and your husband! For him to be going above the law on supporting you is so wonderful! I would tend to think it means a lot to him that you and your children are o.k. praying with you!

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better! May God continue to work on Don and your marriage. Thanks for sharing your honesty from your heart. May God bless you for it and may He give you grace for what lies ahead.

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

Sheryl-your heart is so beautiful. Your words here show how far God has taken you and it is just beautiful. Keep praying. Just keep praying and have faith!! He will have His way-His will-in all this.

Blessings!

In his Graces~Pamela

Sharon said...

Hi Sheryl,
It's me again :)
I wanted to let you know you have an award waiting on my blog, if you'd like to participate.

Have a blessed day!
Sharon

Tiffany Stuart said...

This post is another one of such praise! I'm rejoicing with you. So much to thank God for.

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?