Thursday, March 5, 2009

Struggling to See

Wow, can we go back to the days where I was answering your questions and talking about growing my chin hair long enough to cover up my long teeth. Sheesh, life is hard! This is not gonna be a fun post. This is mostly just going to be me venting so that I don't implode.

To say that I survived the other day at the courthouse is about as good as it gets. Don and I were left alone to sit at opposite ends of the cold marble bench outside the courtoom for well over an hour. Not fun. But in that time I just kept picturing all of you praying on my behalf and I know that's what got me through. Nothing has been decided and we'll do it again on the 26th. (oh joy!!) Actually, since I know that God is in every detail of this, I am trusting that there is a great reason to all meet again and a reason for the delay.

Life has blown up in our faces around here. David is a mess. I have a whole new respect for my parents right now. How did they watch all three of their children choose paths of destruction. Of course, we all thought we were invinsible! It's hard to watch David. I want to protect him. I want to make it all better. I want to take the pain away. Lord...move in his life like never before. Let this time of extreme pain be used to refine us all.

In thinking about how my parents must have felt it leads me to wonder...how does God watch us make mistake after mistake. He has the plans for us to live a life with a hope and a future and yet we choose differently. We choose. That's the problem right there. Instead of knowing and believing that HE knows best, we often make our own choices without even seeking Him. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we deliberately snub God. But somewhere we say that we don't need him on this one. Or this isn't important enough. Or He's too busy with someone else. What lies. Oh Lord Jesus, grab my attention right now. Teach me. Make me different. I don't know what you are doing - but help me to trust your heart that you make all things good. YOUR good may not be MY good. I'm believing that it will be better...

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35 comments:

Heather of the EO said...

Well. For being a venting session it sure was inspiring.

The way you are seeing things right now IS inspiring. You could give up, get scared, shut down, stop praying...

But you're here with this reminder to your readers that God loves and cares for them like a parent.

I'm sorry you're in this hard place. So sorry. But I already see God working the magic only He can through your faith and honesty.

Peace to you,
Heather

Laura said...

Sheryl,

I have been thinking and praying for you over the last few days. I don't have any words to say cause you have heard them already I am sure.
I am standing in the gap for you, lifting you up before our Father.
Girl, I love you. You are so special to me and I ask that GOD give you peace and strength during this time.

Love ya,
Laura

Gathering Hope said...

Amen-

UL Cards Fan said...

My heart aches for you and David. Must be hard on Ellie too. Lifting you all to the Father who has only plans for good for you all.

Knowing that and LIVING through this are two different things though. So glad we serve a GOD who holds us tight even while we vent, question, even doubt a little.

In my heart and spirit I KNOW GOD hears and will work all together for good in your family.

I LOVE you Sheryl. You are a blessing. LINDA

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

I don't have any great words of wisdom. Just know that I am lifting you up in prayer. Thanks for keeping us updated and letting us know how you are doing. And may the peace of God continue to guard your heart in Him.

Beautiful Pear Tree Lane said...

Sheryl,
What can I add to this post!! You my friend are encouraging me, God has brought you this far and He will carry you the rest of the way, and David too. I am still praying!!! Rest in HIM!!
Blessings,
Sue

Courtney and the Boys said...

I'm at a loss for words. Wish I could think of something profound, but it seems you already wrote it. Just know that I'm praying for you and your family. Maybe you should take your "cute" purse that a stranger-friend sent you the next time you go to the courthouse....

Love you,
Courtney

Pam said...

I just sit here shaking my head... i know how hard all this is... and i know that God's grace is sufficient... we went to court 4 times... it was awful. awful. awful. awful. awful. yet God was good. He was my strength. He had His way... and I survived. You will too...

As for your boy... were in this one together to arent we... praying.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Great thoughts. I didn't see it as venting...I guess I see venting as more grudgeful, complacent, anger-filled.

Keep trusting Him, girl.

Jenn said...

Sheryl, I am praying for you, lifting you and your family up to God. My mother's heart is breaking for you as you watch your son choose unwisely. I believe that with all these ladies intercedeing on his behalf in prayer that God will touch his heart.

Kiesha said...

While I've never been where you are at, I have been lost and alone.
I have had to watch someone make mistakes that I knew they would have to deal with for the rest of their life and their wasn't much I could do to stop them. It's such a helpless feeling.

Just know I am lifting up your son in prayer often and praying for protection, wisdom and that God's love will surround you all during this difficult time.

Becca and Dee said...

Sweet Sheryl....I just love you so much. Life has such a way of throwing barbs at us that we just can't avoid and I'm so sorry you're facing so many right now. I wish I had some brilliant words of wisdom. I don't. I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all perfect for you. I can't. All I can say is that even through the unavoidable rocks in the road, you continue to inspire, comfort, and assure those of us that are around you. I hope I can do even a small amount of that for you right now when I tell you God knows what you're going through and will lead you to the other side. When writing that last sentence I made a typo and wrote "what you're GROWING through". Maybe it wasn't a typo after all? You are in my prayers.

Rebecca

Sharon said...

Venting is good, it helps us to get some relief when we need it.
God loves us always and always forgives, he will never leave us nor forsake us, isn't this just a awesome feeling. I pray that God will put peace in your life.
Love Ya!
Have a blessed weekend my friend

C.C. and Double T said...

Oh, Sheryl, I am praying for you, your children (especially David), and your husband. I know that you are in the middle of a separation and I don't know the details of what has brought you there, but I am praying that God will show Himself strong and will somehow restore your marriage. Please tell me if there is some other specific way I may pray for you...

~ C.C.

Tammy said...

I know what your heart is feeling.

My son from my first marriage has made a lot of bad choices. Even today at 26 years old the choices that he is making breaks my heart.

I will be praying you and your son.

love and hugs~Tammy

I have written some of my thoughts about my prodigal son on my blog.

Jennifer said...

Praying for you & your family.

-stephanie- said...

Except for the crappy things you are going through, I loved this post. I sometimes forget that God is a parent. The best Father we could ever have, and we sometimes steer clear of Him.
Praying!

LisaShaw said...

Precious Abba Father,

I continue to lift Sheryl and her family before you for wisdom, comfort, healing and strength. I pray Abba for David and all the pain that he is feeling, the frustration and confusion -- I pray he would surrender his heart to You and find comfort and peace in You. I pray for all that Sheryl stands in need of. Thank You Father for doing a great work in her even as she endures these times by Your strength. I pray for Your divine will to be done for this precious family. What we may not understand Abba Father we can place our total trust in You. We love You Father and we thank You for hearing our prayers for this precious family and for answering according to Your Will. I pray in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen! Amen and Amen!

Suzanne said...

I didn't see it as venting either, which shows what an amazing witness you are.

Know that I am praying for you and David, sweet lady.

Kimberly said...

Sherly,

Not sure what to say, other than I love you so much and I am praying for you always and am sure glad God gave you to me as a friend! Believing with you that it is going to get better...

Love,
kb

The Emery's said...

Love ya, Sheryl! I'm carrying you in my heart.

nancygrayce said...

We all have to vent! I'm praying for you and all this "stuff"! I really pray for your wisdom in dealing with your son....I have a wayward grown son and oh how I wish I could make it all better...I can't....but God can!

Joyfulsister said...

Hey Sis..
((gentle Hugz))). It's okay to vent that's what we are here for to listen, and to be a shoulder of support. I can so relate to what you are going through with your son, I went through it with my daughter, and still even now shaking my head and wondering when she will finally get it, But prayer is the most powerful tool and Love. An older lady in church used to tell me.. Lorie, you just got to love them to Jesus. My daughter was raised in church and she know what she needs to do, but it is your choice now. I continue to pray for you and your family.. Love does cover a multitude of sins.

Luv ya Lorie

His Girl said...

oh, girl... i just can't even know, can I?

praying blessings deep & wide for you.

do not grow weary in doing good. for in due time you shall reap the harvest if you do not give up

Amrita said...

You are going through such a hard time. Feel so much for you Sheryl and for David too. May the Lord protect and comfort you all and meet all your needs.

Susan said...

I'm so sorry to read all that is going on.

Still praying for you Sheryl.

Through it all, you are able to still see God's hand.

Keep holding on my friend♥

Beverly said...

Praying for...

David.

your strength.

Sheryl said...

Sheryl, please know I am praying for you.

Susan said...

Why sure you can come live with me!

Pam said...

I wanted to invite you over to my blog to sign up to win some prizes that I would love to bless you with!!

Cheryl said...

You turned from venting to asking God for help. Very inspiring.

Life is difficult. I agree. I've read over your last few posts. At times when I don't have anything to share or can't get it out, I share brain teasers. I haven't looked back, but I think you were correct on all of these.

Keep your chin up. Praying for you and yours!

Technonana said...

He's got you, Sweetie!! Hold on!! He knows this is difficult, but He said HE would never leave us!!
I will especially be lifting David up to the throne of Grace this week.
Love,
Sharon

Leslie said...

Sheryl,
Just came to your site via Janine's blog I think. I don't know....it's been a hard day and I'm searching a bit. Single parent? check. Mistakes made? check. Child struggling? check. Trying to believe the struggle is teaching? check. Loving the child through it because I had a similar path with no support or honesty and I want to do differently? check. Good to know there are others out there. Sometimes I get to thinking everyone's children go to school, get good grades, keep their jobs, love themselves always etc. Life just ain't that neat. I'm learning too.

JMBMOMMY said...

Oh, it is soo hard to see our children make choices that are not wise...I am so sorry you are in this place right now.

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