Wow, can we go back to the days where I was answering your questions and talking about growing my chin hair long enough to cover up my long teeth. Sheesh, life is hard! This is not gonna be a fun post. This is mostly just going to be me venting so that I don't implode.
To say that I survived the other day at the courthouse is about as good as it gets. Don and I were left alone to sit at opposite ends of the cold marble bench outside the courtoom for well over an hour. Not fun. But in that time I just kept picturing all of you praying on my behalf and I know that's what got me through. Nothing has been decided and we'll do it again on the 26th. (oh joy!!) Actually, since I know that God is in every detail of this, I am trusting that there is a great reason to all meet again and a reason for the delay.
Life has blown up in our faces around here. David is a mess. I have a whole new respect for my parents right now. How did they watch all three of their children choose paths of destruction. Of course, we all thought we were invinsible! It's hard to watch David. I want to protect him. I want to make it all better. I want to take the pain away. Lord...move in his life like never before. Let this time of extreme pain be used to refine us all.
In thinking about how my parents must have felt it leads me to wonder...how does God watch us make mistake after mistake. He has the plans for us to live a life with a hope and a future and yet we choose differently. We choose. That's the problem right there. Instead of knowing and believing that HE knows best, we often make our own choices without even seeking Him. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we deliberately snub God. But somewhere we say that we don't need him on this one. Or this isn't important enough. Or He's too busy with someone else. What lies. Oh Lord Jesus, grab my attention right now. Teach me. Make me different. I don't know what you are doing - but help me to trust your heart that you make all things good. YOUR good may not be MY good. I'm believing that it will be better...