Yesterday I woke up with symptoms and was frustrated. I started my conversation with the Lord asking him "why". Why won't He take this illness away? Why is He leaving me this way? Why isn't He intervening in all the other life circumstances I am facing? Why? Why? Why?
In my head I KNOW that He allows it because through it there will be greater glory. He will be glorified. But my heart cries out - ENOUGH!! I want my life back. I want to do things with my kids. I want to be able to run to the grocery store if we're out of something. I want. I want. I want.
After I was certain that God understood where I was coming from, I proceeded to open my emails. Shocked to find so many comments from my last post. That post had been written 5 days before. Usually I will get a few stragglers, not that many. Hmmm...God was up to something. He was encouraging me. Letting me know that for this time He is still using me. I may not like it, but HE KNOWS WHY HE IS ALLOWING IT!!! Maybe if I had my life back, I would not spend any time here with all of you. Maybe I do not fully understand the calling on my life and I need to remain home bound for now.
It is such a privilege to talk with many of you. Either through the blogs, emails, facebook, messenger...God is up to something in our lives. And here is what I am thinking. It's not about the "right now". Am I willing to pour my life out for the sake of others? There are many who are struggling with what they believe. Do they even believe at all. Is the church worth it. Can God be trusted. Huge things that others are grappling with. I am by no means saying that I am here to be THE ONE who brings healing to them. But I would love to be a part of pointing them to Jesus.
This world will come to pass. This is not all there is. If I live the rest of my life with some heartache, with physical limitations but I have somehow done a small part in helping others - it really will be worth it. My life is getting more and more challenging each day right now. I am being knocked around from every direction. Guess that means satan is scared of me. Pray that I will continue to fight the good fight. That I will live my life with integrity. That my eyes will be fixed on the victory and not on the battles.
What really matters? In the end all that matters is Jesus. Do we know Him? Do you know Him? He is real!! He is worth it!! Trust me - I know!
25 comments:
Sheryl,
You are right on girl! The struggles that we face are out there for us all and I don't know the reason for it except the ones you already mentioned.
I thank GOD for you in your openess before him and us as well. We are on a journey and SATAN does not like GOD's continued work in our lives.
Keep on, sister. Lets keep our eyes on the prize and that is the LORD JESUS.
Love you,
Laura
Thank you for sharing your heart. I have lots of questions also....some days are just a puzzle.
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Amen! God is REAL! He knows are stuggles and he allows them for reasons we don't understand. But, I do know if we hang on and continue to look to Him we will be refined by Him and used to further his glory.
Oh sweet sister, God is definetly up to something in your life. He wants to refine you. I once heard a mentor of mine (don't think he know he is), say that little battles produce little victories, big battles produce big victories. I totally said that wrong, but the whole concept around it is that big battles produce more fruit, joy etc, and ultimately more lives influenced for his kingdom! Just like you were saying on here. Hang on sweet sister. It's goona be worth it! Look up the youtube song by Rita Springer called "Worth it". I think it will bless you!
Lovingly,
Nicole
One more thing came to mind. Just let Him love on you today. The more you seek Him, the more you find Him. The more you find Him, the more you will love Him. Why? Well because you will understand in your heart the depth of our Father's love for you! Love ya!
Once again I am commenting through tears. You write like no one else! I just got back from taking a walk . I was talking to God while I was out and one of the first things I thanked him for was my ability to take a walk. That immediately led me to ask God for your complete physical healing and wholeness for your entire family however God may see that family. I want you to be able to go out and take a walk whenever you want. I want you back to your OLD normal.
Even through your anger, doubt, questioning, whatever you want to call it as you live through these trials, the one thing that shines through is that you BELIEVE GOD and are willing to let Him use you for the greater good. I know He is saying "Well done Sheryl, good and faithful servant". I love you and continue to pray for you. Linda
We don't always understand the ways of God,keep on trusting.
He is so worth it,I'm praying for ya.
love you!!!!
you are such an encouragement and God is using you right now!!!!
i love how you love Him, how you seek after Him no matter what and in the midst of your struggles, you still come and take the time to share with us!!!
i long to know Him the way you do, thank you for sharing your heart here.
love you!
jill
I know the feeling Sheryl. Many times I have felt like God has deserted me and left me alone to fend for myself. But that was not true.
Keep hanging on Sheryl. Our prayers are with you.
He is there he never has left you, Praise God, he hears our crys!! He Loves you unconditionally...
Have a Blessed and Beautiful day my friend
God Loves You
Wow, Sheryl. This is an awesome post. You are truly an amazing person. It seems with each post you come laying your heart with some struggle yet you show your transformation in your thinking.
As I read this, I thought me too. I'm always asking Why? Why won't you do this God? Why won't you JUST...I know You CAN.
Yet, you end with such great transformed thoughts...it's not about the right now. It's about the eternal. Even acknowleding how right you are and how true it is that we are here to save just one more, it's still hard to not ask the how comes and the why nots.
Luv2u,
Paula
God bless you girl for continuing to do the work God has for you. I know it can't be easy, but you are right when you say it is worth it.
Love you,
Suzanne :)
You got it Girlfriend!!! Oh the life struggles!! Sharing the struggles and encouraging each other through them!! Yes, Yes, yes!! That is what it is all about!! Especially when Jesus is all you have!! WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE?
Satan sure is not liking what you are up to, for sure!!! Oh but it is so worth it!!
Keep on keeping on My Sister!!
For you will be blessed indeed!!
Love,
Sharon
He is worth it. :)
Hi Sheryl,
Thanks for sharing that with us! Very insightful! Yep, Jesus is everything! Amen & amen!!
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I love how you have trusted God in your experience of God's love, that His hand are all over you and will pick you up as you lean on Him. Jesus is all that matters! So much is affected by our remembering God's love and goodness, His power, His faithfulness and His perfect plan for our lives.
Some difficulties, trials or sins against us really push our fear and anger (or even panic) buttons. So often it seems that we have to go through a lengthy experience so that we will learn to be still and know that He is God. When we are being sinned against, or going through tribulation, our normal reaction is pain and an urgent desire that the pain end now! We cry from frustration, from not being able to take effective corrective action that will restore things to normal comfort levels. Scripture tells us that tribulation works patience (Romans 5), and when God has tried us we will come forth as gold (Job 23:10). When someone falls short of Christlike obedience or sins against us, their sin against us is so much less than our sin against God every day. We must pray for them and lift them up to Christ that they may win the battle against sin and not fall prey to it. And we must forgive with the outpouring of grace with which Christ has forgiven us, and cleansed us from all unrighteousness. I have clung to anger and unforgiveness far too much, and been absolutely miserable because of it. The only way to end the misery is to forgive from the heart, extend grace even when it is not deserved, and to serve with love. We may not be able to stop the tearful reaction when we are hit with pain, but we can begin to have victory over anger and resentment, and enjoy the peace that passes understanding.
We are so dependent on God's supernatural power. You have us who will join in lifting you up in prayer to strengthen you as you go through this (no one needs to know details, including me!), it would be a good thing. It takes supernatural power to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5), loving and trusting Him in the midst of trials. I often turn to Colossians 3 and the first part of Chap. 4 to help keep me focused.
I can only share things that have helped me, and hope that some may be of help to you, also. May the Lord be with you and strengthen you with great joy as you walk by faith. your friend jackie
soooo proud of you.... what an amazing feat it is to force yourself to focus on what God is teaching us instead of rotten rotten circumstances.
praying for you, sis~
Dear Sheryl
You never cease to amaze, and inspire me when you write one of your post. Yes, God is using you in more ways than what you realize!!! Your willingness to open up about your conversations with your heavenly Father lets everyone see what a true relationship is all about. Isn't it wonderful to know that there is someone who is always tuned in to us. I am still praying for you and your family!!!Just keep being obedient to HIM!!
Blessings,
Sue
Hi Sheryl-
Aren't we thankful that He knows our needs? Sometimes, I feel the need to remind Him on a daily basis where I need Him to intervene and it's as if He is saying 'I know'.
Praise Him -He's got it all figured out- at the appointed time - it will all be clear to us all.
God bless your sweet heart Cheryl.
Myriam
Hi Sheryl! Your post reminded me so much of one of my girlfriends. Just two years ago, she started having this pain in her back. Long story short, two years later, and with tailbone surgery, she still gets the pain. She doesn't know why. She knows only God knows, and she is just trusting in Him. It's been amazing to see her faith through the emotional and physical pain she deals with. She just clings on to Jesus because she knows that's all she can do. In the end, God will be glorified, although it's hard for us to understand why He would allow us to go through certain things. I just think of the testimony she will have because of this!! God is perfected in our weakness. He even says that His grace is sufficient!!
HUGS,
Alicia
I am new to your blog however I wanted to stop in and say Hi. You are in my thoughts today.
Amen my friend! Some days it is difficult to see the purpose in all of it. But He does and we have to trust Him that He knows what's best. Thank you for the reminder! Hope the rest of your week gets a little better!
Sheryl, I want to thank you for your kind birthday wish to me, this morning. I must tell you, that I read your latest post yesterday, and I found myself without any words to respond. God has given you a tremendous talent in writing...in baring your soul, in expressing your hearts(even the ones from way down deep inside). Your writing and your attitude certainly will be used in ways that you might never know. I always leave your blog with tears and with inspiration.
Sheryl!! Busted up at your question over at PW's! Okay, heading back there now.... lol
I am so sorry you are going through this. I really don't know what you are facing but I pray that God continues to give you the strength and encouragement you need to carry on. He has a purpose in everything He does, even when we don't understand it.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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