We Are Healed

By His wounds. That is how we are healed. Healed from our sins, death. We don't have to pay the price - He does it. He did it!! I woke up the other night (honestly, I had not fallen asleep yet) with this song on my heart. I watched this video in the middle of that night with tears streaming down my face. Realizing what I had done and what He chose to do for me. Take just a minute if you can and watch some of this. (don't leave me though, because I'm not done)

If that is the "only" healing I get, I want to be satisfied. My complete physical healing may never come. My family may never find healing. In the end those are not the things that truly matter. Don't get me wrong, I want them desperately and pray for them daily - but it can't be my focus.

I want to live a life of gratitude for what Christ did for a sinner like me. A woman who was in the pit for years. Shoot - I jumped in that pit. I stayed there because I thought I was having a good time. I made choices and decisions to sin. AND HE STILL CHOSE TO DIE FOR ME! He took the punishment to bring me peace.

Peace! That is what I would like my life to model. It's hard when anger is being spewed at me. When I see my kids suffering. When I want to "right a wrong." Then I remember it is not up to me to make all things right. God is in charge. He is the avenger. He is the healer. He is going to bring beauty from ashes.

Lord, I want to live a life worthy of your sacrifice. I want to live as the "healed" child that I am. Full of peace, joy, love, faithfulness, goodness, kindness. Remind me of the price you paid. Thank you for loving me and choosing me. A sinner, one who would turn my back on you. Thank you for what you will continue to do in our lives.

We are healed......

For The Birds...

So, Friday morning was the 15th of the month, which meant it was time to pick a new verse to memorize. (If you're new here, I am doing the LPM challenge to memorize a new scripture every two weeks.) The first thing that popped into my brain was "what about that bird verse that you sort of memorized a few years ago". Yeah, I am really deep like that.

The "bird verse" was from Matthew and had something to do with not worrying about what you eat or your body and you can't....um...well that was kind of how I had it memorized!! So, I filed that thought away and went on with my day. Later I opened my front door and this is no joke - there were two baby birds sitting on some leaves on my sidewalk (right in front of my door) that started opening their little beaks to me for food!! Wow, how cool is that. Hmmm, wonder if God is trying to tell me something. Can you believe I still was not convinced that I was to memorize those verses?!

Friday was the day that my bonus daughter graduated from college in Texas. The kids were supposed to go, but the timing just didn't allow them to be away from school. And I wasn't able to travel because of this pesky illness. Anyway, P's mom let me know that we could watch a live stream of the graduation on the computer. Awesome! So we sat down and started watching. Soon it was time for the president of the university to make his speech. He started by saying that he wanted to read a few words that Jesus had given to us...

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26)

THE BIRDS!!!!

Okay, Lord, I get it. You would really like me to KNOW these words. These are not just words, these are words that Jesus Christ spoke!! As I thought back to those baby birds at my front door and realized that GOD knew THEIR needs. Those tiny little creatures in Michigan were known by the creator of the universe!! If He takes care of them - well, of course, He will take care of me. He knows my needs. He longs to be the meeter of my needs. I am valuable to Him. You are valuable to Him.

Isn't that just mind blowing? Maybe I am the only one excited about this but I need to know that I do not ever leave the mind of God. His eyes are always upon me.

I do not want to spend my life worrying. It's a waste of time. It's not His will for my life. I want to be like those baby words...fully expecting that He will feed me. Arms, heart, mind WIDE open to receive what HE has to give!

To Whom Much is Given...

Much is expected.

That is a loose translation from a verse in Luke 12. It's one that has been rolling around in my head the past couple days. That can only mean one thing - I am supposed to write about it. It's not the only thing repeating itself in my brain. The other is the song "Mercy Came Running". I've been waking up singing this song. So, let's see what it is that the Lord wants to teach me.

It used to be that I thought "to whom much is given, much is expected" meant money and material things. It does. But that's not where it stops. Whatever we have been given "much" of, we are expected to give out. So, what have I been given "much"?

Mercy. (hmmm?)
Forgiveness.
Love.
Grace.
Freedom.
Friendships.
Joy.
Peace.

Those are just the first things that popped into my head. (Remember I am writing this as I type, so I have to believe that God is directing this) I have been given those things in abundance. Today I believe that it must be mercy where I am supposed to camp.

Mercy in biblical terms means not getting what you deserve. As in punishment. Death. Grace is getting something we don't deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve. God in all of His love and goodness has extended both to me (and to you). However, his mercy has been extended over and over and over. A long time ago I wrote a post titled Running and Chasing which shows how much I ran from the Lord. Yet...His mercy came running!!

If I have been given so much then I need to extend just as much if not more. I need to pour out all that has been given. Not just the mercy. I need to seek out those who are feeling all alone since I have been given friendship. I need to find those that aren't feeling loved and show them love. There are many who are living joyless lives while I have been given joy immeasurable.

Honestly I have no idea of the purpose of this post. It may be just for me and to remind me that God is expecting me to pour out from all the He has given. My heart races when I think that I might miss the purpose and calling for my life. I don't want to! Lord, thank you for all that you've given me. Help me to know what to do with it. Show me who needs some of the "much".

New Thing

Yes, you are in the right place!! Don't you love it? Even if you don't, just say you do. My friends Kate and Heather over at Smitten Blog Designs were gracious enough to put up with me. They were incredible to work with!

It's time for new beginnings, so I thought I would start with an overhaul of The Perch.

My prayers for my family are changing. They are God directed now. (you know I tend to tell God what I think He should do and He really does know better) I have already seen incredible evidence of God's faithfulness just in the past 24 hours. He never ceases to amaze me.

It's hard to pray for people who have hurt you. Well, it's hard to pray with a pure heart. At least for me it has been. I am committing once again to praying Ephesians 1:17&18 for Don. I know his heart and it is one that wants so much to be a dad to his kids. Seeing the pain in the eyes of the kids, I know that his pain must be even deeper. Praying that God keeps my heart filled with compassion toward Don.

I am going to continue to try new things to push myself even when I am feeling symptomatic. It's hard - but it's a beginning! Put my feet in the lake today for the first time since the summer of 2006!! Amazing. Hoping to get to do lots more of that with David and Ellie. They are looking forward to having a bit more of their mom back.

My "bonus daughter" graduates from college next week. What a new beginning for her. Real life. A job. (or maybe more school?) She's scared, yet excited at the same time. Wish we could be there with her but it just isn't going to work out. She has a heart for the Lord and I pray that she would allow Him to direct her steps in this new path.

New beginnings are great!! Sure it is unknown. Sure sometimes they are painful. But if we remember who is allowing the new beginnings, we can look forward expectantly. I have always loved Isaiah 43:19, See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

HE (GOD) is making the way. I am excited for the new thing!!

Running the Race

"Don't you trust me?"

Those are the words that God has been asking me over the past several days. Oh, how I want to just say "yes, of course, I trust you". But my actions convey the truth. Stress. Anxiety. Anger.

There are so many scriptural cliches that we throw around. "Cast all your cares on Him" or "It all works out for good" or "He knows the plans He has for you". Yeah, yeah, I know it!! But it doesn't make it any easier for me to just know it. I need to believe those things and behave like it!

What does it mean for me to cast my cares? It does not mean to approach the Lord and tell Him my problems and hope that He keeps them. It does not mean to be in denial and pretend like I have no cares. What does it mean to cast? The dictionary says it is to throw or hurl, to throw off or away. That takes a lot of action!!

I want to picture myself - my cares - and THROW THEM OFF of me!! Right into the waiting hands of God. Trusting that He will catch them. Knowing that He will catch them. When they start creeping back up (which they often do) I will forcefully throw them right back to Him.

Tired of satan trying to defeat me. God has a plan for my life. I only have one chance at this. My life is meant to have meaning. So is yours. Let's throw off all that hinders us and run this race!

Overflow

Hey!! Yes, I am still alive. Just had some personal things going on that I needed to work through. Life is good on this Saturday night in Michigan. It's been a beautiful day and one that I have enjoyed immensely!! Love these days.

As most of you know I am doing the Beth Moore challenge to memorize a scripture every two weeks. It's that time again to pick the next one. I am typing this without any idea still what my verse is going to be this time. Hmmm...maybe as I keep typing it will come to me??

It's been awhile since I've given you an update on the kids. Thanks so much for all your prayers for them. David is doing really well. (Thank you, Jesus) He continues to see his counselor every couple of weeks and is making great progress. He and Don see each other about once a week and talk/text several times during the week. I know that David needs this and I pray that one day this will be the father/son relationship that they both want.

Ellie still struggles with seeing Don. (she refuses) I understand it, but it's sad. I would like to wave a magic wand and make all the relationships everything that each of them want. Yes, I know that's not possible, but a girl can dream. And we can pray. I do that. A lot!

God created us for relationship. With each other. But really he created us to be in relationship with Him. Isn't that so cool that He WANTED to have a relationship with each one of us. He didn't need to - he wanted to!! That really is more than my little brain can fathom. It should be enough for each of us to realize that the creator of the universe wants to be all we need!! Wow. If we could find our satisfaction in Christ alone then so many other relationships would just fall into place. They would be our overflow!!

This is such a transition period for me in my life right now. I know I'm being healed and that is more exciting than I ever thought possible! Not sure where God is taking me next but I want to be ready. I want my relationship with Jesus to be real. Genuine. Fulfilling. I want to love Him more.

Here it is: Romans 15:3 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yep, that fits right where I am! He will fill me with joy and peace (which I need so desperately) but my part is to trust Him. The verse says He will fill me with those things AS I trust in Him. And I will OVERFLOW with hope! Doesn't get much better than that.

Miracles and a Giveaway

It is over 70 degress and sunny in Michigan today!!! After the longest, roughest winter in history (exaggeration) I am so excited to see nice weather.

Head over here to my other blog for a giveaway.

And...the weather is not the only miracle in my life that I want to share with you.

*I drove the soccer carpool last night
*I mowed the backyard today

WHOOP!!

Walking in Freedom

Here we go...

Nothing in my brain but fingers are itching to "write". Kind of tired of everyone being attacked by satan. Feeling pretty sick of him. There is a victorious life for us all to live but he keeps trying to trip us up. For me - I am letting him. He uses the same things, he is not very creative. So, why do I keep falling for it??

I asked a group of friends to "get real" yesterday and you would not believe the things that people are dealing with. Well, sure you would, because you all are dealing with them too. But for some reason most people keep those things to themselves. Like if they don't talk about them then maybe they'll just go away. That is exactly what satan wants. Secrets, things in the dark...we need to expose them to The Light!! Just because we struggle and have issues does not make us less than. We are not "worse Christians". We are not a burden to our friends. We are not alone!!

It has been a burning desire of mine to see others walk in freedom. I've tasted what that freedom walk feels like and it is GOOD! I want it back. I want to love the Lord more. I want to "want Him" in my life. Does that make sense?

God is giving me more physical healing and that is wonderful!! But...I want my heart to be healed. Not from the divorce, not from the heartache of the kids, not from fear (although all that healing would be great). I want my heart to be healed - I want it to be a heart that is sold out for Jesus. That is not so easily swayed by the lame tactics of the devil. I just want to be in love with the Lord Jesus.

Are you struggling? Are your burdens heavy? If you don't feel like you want to share them here (you can always be anonymous), please find someone to "get real" with. Freedom is ours. HE has already purchased it with His own blood. Let's live in it!!

If You Ask Him, Be Ready for the Answer

The Lord and I have been having an ongoing conversation lately. Now that I am divorced. Single. A single mom. A single, sick mom. I've been asking God what should I be doing to earn money. Would He bring me something that I could do from home? I keep asking and do you know what He keeps saying?

Give.

Huh?

Hold on a second, Lord...You aren't even letting me get through my whole sentence and You keep telling me to GIVE??? Is that really what you're saying?

Yep! (ok, I know the Lord probably doesn't say YEP, but He does in my mind)

It has been the strangest thing. I do not hear God audibly but in my heart, my spirit, I just know it's Him. And truly each time I ask about earning money He tells me to give. So I have begun to do that. I am not relaying this story to you to boast about giving but to have a record of how God is working in my life.

Honestly there has never been a time in my life where I really NEEDED God to meet all of my needs. Sure there would be weeks where money was tight but this "new life" of mine is completely out of my hands. Completely!! I need Him in a way I've never needed Him before. I have no way to earn extra money. I have no way of healing myself. I have no way of protecting my kids from heartache.

But HE does. His ways are higher than my ways. (ok, as you know I write these things on the fly, I don't plan them out...I have to tell you what JUST happened) I was in the middle of that last sentence when my dad came into my house. He had taken my car to the shop because it's "acting up". He just told me that it will be ready tomorrow and it will be $800!!!! Okay I just cracked up.

Good thing I have decided that God is control and I am trusting HIM alone. I've been wondering what my next memory verse should be and I think it should be something about God supplying my needs but I'm led now to believe it's even more than that. I am going to memorize Malachi 3:10 (and no, I don't just know these verses, I googled verses that speak about supplying needs). Here is the verse:

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

What is God saying to you that seems ridiculous? Where do you need to trust Him?