One year ago today I wrote this post. (did you go read it? - ok, good!) I had no idea that I would spend another 525,600 minutes without full health. Good thing we don't know what's ahead sometimes.
Here is the part of that post that kind of gets to me...
I'm wondering what the next year has in store. But I hope to take it minute by minute. I believe there will be restoration. Restoration of my health. Restoration of my marriage and family. I don't know how it will look. It may not be the way I would choose it. But I am letting go and letting God have this year. Without Him, I don't know where I'd be. Literally!! I pray that the next 525,600 minutes will be measured by "Seasons of Love".
This past year ended up looking nothing like I thought it would. I truly thought there would be healing for me physically and that my marriage & family would be back together. Instead I still struggle with my health, my marriage ended and the kids don't have a relationship with their dad.
BUT...
There has been restoration. Healing for me has come spiritually in a way that I cannot fully describe. Issues, addictions, unresolved grief - healed!! I told someone the other day that I believe wounds do heal, but you are often left with a scars. Honestly, I am glad for the scars. They make me who I am. They remind me of God's mercy. In speaking with my counselor I said that I didn't want my past to define me. However, I stopped myself and realized that my past is my story and I'm glad for the story I have.
It's been a rough 525, 600 minutes but I live a life pretty full of joy. Not a day goes by without God amazing me with something. Not a day goes by that we don't die laughing. Not a day goes by that my kids and I don't say "I love you". Not a day goes by that I take health for granted. A day does not go by that I am not reminded that God has chosen/allowed this path for me for a purpose!!
I don't know "why me", but why not me? I pray that He trusts me with another year of minutes and that He will find me faithful to do what He is asking.
Looking forward to experiencing the next year with each of you. Cannot wait to see what God has in store for you as well. Let's spend the next 525,600 minutes being measured by "Seasons of Love".
- Sheryl
- I am a mom to 2 great kids. I am a child of God who is pursuing after Him as I learn to live in my "new normal". Diagnosed with a life altering illness in June of 2007 and the end of my marriage less than a year later, life has taken a new path. One that I am learning to accept and appreciate. As my illness caused me to be basically home bound, my family named the living room couch "my perch". Thus the title of this blog.
21 comments:
Dear Sheryl,
As always you speak volumes in a few words. You reminded me of a Point of Grace song:
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart,
Take the pieces of this heart and
Heal the wound but leave the scar.
There are no words needed to say how thankful I am to have you for a friend. I love you, Linda
So glad that God is in control and not us. This is an awesome post. I pray too that I don't waste one second of my life...that it is all used for Him.
How Cool! I actually think I remember reading that original post. :) Yeah, so, anyway, Linda said it-so thankful for your friendship! Love ya lots Sherly! KB
Sheryl,
I always love reading your posts. It so strengthens my heart!
When speaking about scars, I too am reminded of the journey with the LORD and me! Something that I think about alot is this.. I thank him not just for what he has saved me from but what he has brought me too!!
I love you dearly. What a special friend you are.
Love you,
Laura
Blessings and prayers, sweet friend. Love ya!!!
In His grasp,
Nicole
Sheryl,
What an insightful post! I especially loved the part where you said "my past is my story and I'm glad for the story I have." I just recently watched a DVD by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) called "Let Story Guide You". Have you seen it?
He says exactly what you're saying here. God has a story that belongs to you, and the greater the story -- the greater the conflict! We, as Americans, don't like conflict -- we want the "happily ever after" endings. But, if you think about the bible stories -- the stories God thought we should all read -- it's the guys who had the greatest conflict who also had the greatest story -- and usually their lives influenced many others.
All that to say this: your life, your conflict and your yet-to-be-seen resolutions, are being used by God as a GREAT story. You are teaching and helping many others who know and love you.
So thanks for sharing your heart, your life . . .your story . . with all of us! You are a treasure!!
I totally remembered this post right away. So amazing that it's been a year already!
You're right! Though nothing like what we were praying about, it's more than we could ever ask or think!
Glory to God!
I just love you. Wish I could give you a give hug and tell you everything is going to be alright. You are such a sweetheart and I'm sure the apple of your Heavenly Father's eye. I don't know what the future holds, but I'll be here to support you no matter what the outcome. So glad God's is at the wheel:)
Thank you Sheryl for the joy you help to add to my 525,600 x 2 minutes during this past year. Even though you are going through deep waters, and painful moments, you continue to share joy with the blogging world. Along with that, you are teaching me many valuable lessons.
I don't know "why me", but why not me?
I just love your attitude Sheryl...
Praying for more then your heart can imagine.
More healling, more hope and more love from our Father then you could ever experience♥
PS Thanks for sharing those 525,660 x 2 moments with us!!!!!!!
"I pray that He trusts me with another year of minutes and that He will find me faithful to do what He is asking." I love that! That's something we all need to pray.
You have such a wonderful attitude despite what Satan has thrown at you! Here's to another 525,600 Christ filled minutes!
I like this post. And that song. :)
You always find ways to point out how amazing God is..and to give Him praise..during the storms and the good times...that is inspiring.
I've tagged you on my blog,please stop by!
I'm so glad I've met you in the midst of these last 525, 600. You are lovely and I do see God working BECAUSE of the pain. So clearly.
Peace to you,
Heather
Boy, if you and I could sit down and have a heart to heart... we are so on the same page... I think these kinds of thoughts all the time when I look around and go, "this wasn't supposed to be how it went" but it's how God chose for it to go, and that's got to be good enough for me! Regrets are such a waste of our time as His children aren't they? Bless your sweet heart for looking at and embracing your past. I think that is the only way to keep from being bitter about a life that wasn't "according to our own plan."
Gosh I've been loving your words. In fact, I just added you to my blog roll so I don't miss any!
Blessings to day,
Sasha
I can dido many of the things you said with the exception of die laughing daily (oh how I'd love that and miss that) and pretty full of joy. I don't feel very joyous or joyful. Struggling with that big time. Not "feeling" "happy". I know God is not concerned with happiness and happiness is really just when our circumstances happen to be happy.
Trying so hard to feel joy, be joy, live joy.
You are one strong lady!
So sorry you have not gotten that physical healing but you offer such beautiful insights and depth.
It's amazing what a year can bring and so often it isn't what we had planned for our lives. I am so glad you are able to hold on to God and see that He has great plans for you, even if they aren't what you had in mind.
Your post made me think of a line from an old Carl Cartee song "It's not just a scar, but a place where there's been a healing."
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