The past couple days have been a struggle. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.
Had a pretty good run where my symptoms were manageable. I am grateful for that. It will be a long time (hopefully forever) before I take for granted the ability to walk to a car, get in it and drive. However, when the symptoms come back, it does get me down. I know that's ok to be disappointed. Just wish it was different.
The physical always brings out the other two. Emotional and spiritual. Being sick and alone is hard. It is an "in your face" reminder that I am doing this alone. (ok, I know that God is always with me, but you know what I am talking about) I do not want to be someone who complains about my circumstances either. However, when life is hard, I think we need to be honest.
So, when I get symptomatic again, I start having a hard time praying. Well, that's not entirely true. I've been struggling with my prayer life for awhile now. Sometimes I wonder, "why pray"? God is going to do what He's going to do. Do I even believe that He performs miracles any more? Do I dare ask? Someone said the other day that one of the purposes of prayer is to be able to listen more closely for the voice of the Lord. I liked that. Not about the asking, pleading, begging....but about having a conversation. Hearing HIM.
What is He saying to me these past few days?
Get on your knees, Sheryl and PRAY. Talk to me! Do not shut me out. Keep praying for healing in your body. Keep praying for the healing of your family.
Really, Lord? Are you sure?
Part of me wants to say that our family is fine. And for the most part we are. But when you look deep down, deep within, we are four hurting people that don't really know how to live in this new life. God promised me "beauty from ashes" in my marriage many years ago. I really believed that to be as an intact family. Why have I given up praying for that?
Because I don't want to be disappointed!!
Let us all ask for what God has placed on our hearts to pray. Pray believing that He is able. Pray believing that He is listening. Pray believing that above all else He is interested in the health of our souls! I am going to start praying again. With a new passion. I am going to take back the ground that satan has tried to steal from us.
I would love to pray for you. Let's pray....BELIEVING!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
25 comments:
Just beautiful.
One of the first Christian fiction books I read was This Present Darkness. It opened my eyes to spiritual warfare and I still remember being surprised/shocked when the author said in the story that evil was so strong because people were not praying! It has probably been 15 years or more since I read this but it still is a powerful memory. Satan is real and he has lost to Jesus but sometimes in the midst of our struggles and circumstances we seem to lose sight of that. I am nowhere near where I need to be in my prayer life but if I think about what the author said in This Present Darkness I should be on my knees rebuking Satan and claiming God's victory. So thankful that we have intercessors for us when we feel we cannot pray. Thanks you for being an interceder in my life Sheryl. I promise to be a better one for you. Much love and many prayers, Linda
Hi Sheryl,
Thanks for opening up your heart, Many times I have felt the same, and have had the same conversation with God!!
We know that Jesus said that the thief (satan) came to steal, and to kill but that He (GOD)came to give us life and to give it more abundantly. I believe that God has a tremendous work for you to do and that satan's job is to try and stop it. but he can't because you already recognize him and what he is trying to do!.
There are to many prayers going up to to the throne room of God for you and your family, God sees and hears and these prayers are a sweet smelling savor to Him, He has not forgotten you nor your loved ones.
There have been times when I couldn't udder a prayer , so I would go and just sit and say "God here I am I just want to sit in your presence."I would sit and not say anything else, after a while I would get up and leave, I knew He Knew what was in my heart and what I wanted to say to Him.
Thank you for your prayers that you are praying for all of your fellow friends here in blogland , and we are still praying for you and your family. I love you dear friend!!
Hugs,
Sue
No great words of wisdom here...just wanted to tell ya that I love ya to pieces and I always pray for you and your family!
KB
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12 NKJV
Pray BELIEVING!! AMEN! AND AMEN!
Stay close to the LORD.
Bless you dear one.
Beautiful and right where I have been today.....You are special.
Sheryl,I will be praying with you!I really enjoyed your post! Blessings, Faye
Oh Sheryl, God NEVER disappoints.
Go read Mark 9:23-24. I have to pray for my unbelief often.
I can so relate to your struggles. Maybe not in the exact same way... but health issues have a tendency to get us down... especially when we are limited to things we could do but can't do now. It is so hard to swallow your pride and ask for help.
Yesterday I was at rock bottom. I just was so sad. It took nearly all day to pull myself out of the deep pit I was in... it was a very dark place.
I am thankful that today is better... but I know the adveristy I am dealing with is not gone.
I guess the best thing we can do is pray for each other... believing that the sturggles and trials we face will get better.
ToOdLeS.
Thank you for this post. I need to pray believing in a situation of mine. I too don't want to be disappointed. I feel like it's a worthless cause, but that's my emotion, and my emotions are not always right. Cause God's word says that things can and will change!!! Oh, how I need his help. I could use prayers regarding my new job. Once again, oh how I need his help.
Love ya girlie!
Nicole
I know what it is like to live with something that does not go away but its symptoms wax and wain. I have fibromyalga and like you I don't like to complain. I too have good days and bad days and on my bad days (sometimes weeks)It wears me down and that is when my emotions come into play as well. I believe that these illnesses are caused by ongoing stresses in our lives.
Hang in there girl, I can feel the transforming power of the Lord working in me, giving me the ability to praise him in this storm. He is causing me to take my eyes off the wood, hay and straw and causing me to focus on gold, silver and precious stones.
We have to keep the Faith!! Faith is believing and acting upon it.
So don't let satan take your belief's, don't let satan steal your Joy, Put on some christian music and start singing and praising out to our Lord, Amen!!
Oh Honey I feel for you.
I'm kind of the opposite with praying...I tend to pray when times are tough and then slack during the good. I have become so lazy in this area. I pray at mealtimes and with my girls before school and bed, but not a real heart to heart kind of thing. And I feel it too. I miss that real intimacy that only praying can bring.
Isn't it funny how we so often go to God in prayer not believing that He's actually going to do what we ask?
Sheryl,
I am praying that God will open your eyes to see your situation the way that He does. Whole in every way. Because seeing is believing! See it in the realm of Truth, in the fulfillment of the provision of Jesus and live! Then your faith lines up and comes into agreement with Him. God, help her to see her life like you do.
Amen
Christy
I have experienced the same things and recently came to the conclusion that part of prayer is listening and just sitting in silence listening to God. It is so difficult to do because I am one of those that likes to fill silences but sometimes that is when He talks to us most!
Wonderful post. You're very honest about your feelings. Satan loves to drag down Christians, doesn't he? I often feel like I miscarried last year because I didn't pray enough over the baby and because I figured I would miscarry due to my age. There goes Satan putting thoughts into my head and laying on the guilt!
We have to listen to and believe God, not the other guy.
I know exactly what you mean my friend! It can be so hard to keep believing for something, yet afraid it might not come true. Then to have to deal with the reality of that. It has felt like something I cannot handle.
But I want to agree with you today. I want to believe that God is still in the miracle business and He can still redeem our situations. Thank you for that wonderful reminder today!
I pray you have a beautiful weekend my friend!
Sheryl, this is Sharon Austin. I am sitting overlooking the ocean in Mazatlan at our condo. I clicked on your blog from Trish Smith's blog. I just want you to know that I have heard thru Christy Wright and others what is going on in your life and have prayed for you when I think of you. I still have the picture of You, Christy, Amy, Sally and I at my house sitting on a table that was taken not long after I moved here and you all played a HUGE role in my life in loving me and helping me to become who God had called me to be right then... that is always changing as you are well aware. Anyway, all that to say, I have been reading your blogs and am struck by the depth of trust that Christ has developed in you. Thank you for sharing your heart in this blog... You have touched mine in a HUGE way today. I have cried and laughed with you in these. Thank you for sharing truth and allowing God to work in and thru you. You truly are beautiful.
I love the things you said here and can relate to so many. Even the physical as I have a certain phyiscal issue and when it flares up, I find myself hibernating, depressed, and drawn inward.
I know what you mean about why pray and going through that phase. Pray more to listen more...that's good.
You know my prayer need as always with beloved being freed from satan's lies and restored to our marriage.
Sweet blessings,
Paula
Believe you have received whatever you ask for in prayer...Matthew 21:22.
Sheryl,
I have not stopped by in a little while but this was so timely. I find that recently I have neglected praying as much because I wonder "what if God won't do it?" The answer is that I should still pray, still trust, still believe.
Thank you so much for this word.
Kim
This really resonated with me today. I always think I know exactly how everything should go... and then when it doesn't, I'm somehow shocked.
I forget to pray believing... and I should know better having just finished Beth Moore's Believing God.
Thanks for the wonderful reminder.
Blessings to you girl..
We are here to support each other. God has crossed our paths and I am thankful. I will pray for believing. You are wonderful and I am blessed to know you. Hang in there:)
Cindy
fighting like a girl
Post a Comment