Thursday, May 1, 2008

I Trust

Trust? What is trust? Do I trust? Who or what do I trust? Well, first of all, what does trust really mean? One defintion is "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence". Then there's this definition -"confident expectation of something; hope".

I think my trust in God has often fallen under that second definition. "confident expectation of something". Like...I will trust God that He will give me healthy kids. I'll trust God that He will meet our needs (which were often "wants") I will trust God that He will heal me. I will trust God that He will restore my marriage. And on it goes. My list of things that I will trust God to do. Confidently expecting something, hoping for it.

Really I believe the first definition is probably the kind of trust I should be putting in God. I can rely on His integrity, strength, ability, etc. He didn't tell me to trust that he would perform a certain way for me. He just tells me to trust HIM. Well what can I trust about God?
  • I can trust that He is good. ALL the time.
  • I can trust that He is love. He can do nothing outside of that love.
  • I can trust that He has the perfect plan.
  • I can trust that His Word is truth.
  • I can trust that He forgives.
  • I can trust that He is a God of mercy and second chances.
  • I can trust that He sees the whole picture and knows the end of every story.
  • I can trust that He knows better than me. (ALWAYS)
  • I can trust that when I am sad, He sees and cares.
  • I can trust that His eyes never leave me - not even for a second.
  • I can trust that He isn't surprised by anything.
  • I can trust that He is trustworthy.

He may not answer the prayers in the way I've asked. He may seem silent. He may seem to have forgotten me. But those are all my perceptions. None of them are true. None of them fit the character of God. I have to go back to His Word and remind myself of who He is.

He loves me SO much that he pursued me and pursued me even after I turned my back on Him many years ago. But He also loves me so much that He may leave where I am right now, just as I am...for a greater purpose. I have to trust that in his goodness, mercy and love that purpose will be amazing! For this season I question, "why are you allowing this", "why won't you at least take one of these things from me"? And He answers me, "I am with you, I'm in it with you, Sheryl. I am not surprised. Trust me!!!"

Lord, give me a heart to love you and trust you more. May I have my eyes wide open waiting expectantly for what you are going to do. Trusting that good will eventually come. Knowing it may not look the way I think it should be, knowing you will use it for your glory or it wouldn't be allowed. Love on my children for me, Lord. Give them hearts that fall deeply in love with you right now as they are hurting. I know you love them more than I do. And I trust you.


Anonymous said...

Well, you certainly show much trust in HIM. You may still see Him do the 1st definition of trust for you even through all this.
Sometimes He trusts us with trials because He can trust our response to bring Him glory and facilitate His power. So maybe this trial isn't about you trusting Him since it sounds like you already do. Maybe it's about the fact that He can trust you with this. Expect great things.
Stay as close as you are now to HIM and know I will be praying.

-:-Chanin-:- said...

Dear Sheryl,

What a brave post :) I am so glad you made that list. I am sure it won't be the last time you have to make one. When things gets rough, I pray that the Lord will give you the strength to persevere.

I have been through some rough times myself. I had melanoma 3 yrs ago (skin cancer). I really questioned my faith because I knew melanoma can be deadly. Then 7 months later I found out that my husband was having an affair with a girl from work. I didn't suspect a thing- it totally took me by surprise- and I was still dealing with so much fear and anxiety from the cancer.

Eventually, about 1.5 yrs. ago I had a nervous breakdown. My nerves were shot and my anxiety went through the roof. But God was faithful. I didn't think I would make it through. But here I am today. My nerves are not quite healed yet- but I have learned patience and perseverence; I have a new compassion on people who are suffering emotional issues. There are just so many things God has done and so many ways I have grown.

Keep pressing on and pressing in to Him. God must love you an awful lot to want to refine you into His beautiful gem :)

Praying for you, Chanin

He Knows My Name said...

hi sheryl, i got your comment on the laminin. i pray for a boy in ohio with brain cancer (4 operations and now maybe remission) his mom sent it in her prayer update. isn't it just beautiful, that little protein holds us together and it looks like a cross. i have a wayward son who is listening to everything and everyone about how we came into existence except the word. he says he is not an atheist but he is a practical one (practicing it in his everyday life) for sure. he has not seen the video yet but i hope i can get him to watch it.

i've read your recent blogs and i want to send you a hug and tell you how sorry i am for your health condition and now divorce. life certainly does not make sence sometimes, but we have to cling to what we know to be true and right and somedays our hold slips but He is there to catch us Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

I'm in the northern detroit area. you wouldn't happen to be in my area would you? I'll be stopping in again. many hugs ~janel

Anonymous said...

Great post - appreciate the honesty here!

Dineen A. Miller said...

Just caught up on your posts, girl. Such a testimony!!! From past experiences, I've found God to redeem these bad times in the most unexpected ways. Romans 8:28 is my life verse. Why not take both meanings of trust? They define both God's character, and his actions. And he is soooooooo faithful. I learned that one from a difficult time. God didn't take the circumstances away, but the was there the whole time helping us through it. You can trust his faithfulness too. ((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I posted this response there for you. "Sheryl: I've asked myself the same question and in fact I asked the same question of God today during the sermon. I left full of hope that God can and will turn the hearts of the fathers. We know how to pray now. We can turn each of those principles into prayers for the fathers of our children." There's a wonderful Marriage ministry that is filled with encouragement for prodigals. They are Rejoice Ministries from Florida (I have to double check that it's org and not com) If I'm wrong I'll follow up with another comment

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's

SweetPea said...

I am just blow away right now. One, for your most beautiful comment on my blog and reading all of my posts!! Thank you!!
Two, I am very anxious to read all of your posts. I read your profile only and of course my heart tugged and I instantly felt a special kindredness with you. A previous comment referencing you now being divorced verses your profile saying separated.
Three, I can't believe yet another person knows about I have been connected with them for about 3 weeks and it has been such a blessing and encouragement.

Yes, to answer your question, I am recently divorced (11/07) by my husband leaving me with NO biblical grounds. No infidelity and no convenant broken. I can tell you that rejoiceministries very much encourages reconciliation regardless even if adultery is involved. Bob Steinkamp cheated on Charlyne and they were divorced for two years that was 22 years ago and they just celebrated their 20th remarriage anniversary. They physically stories are miracles. Bob has had two strokes and was diagnosed with a brain tumor and told he'd never walk again.

You'll have to read their story and make sure you sign up for their email devotional. There is one email devo that talks about the head-to-prayer for our husbands...oh, no that's from girlfriends in God devo. I can email that to you. Charlyne has a devo that prays scripture over both you and your husband. There is power in praying scripture over people. Charlyne also has books/tapes on prayers for healing and how she prayed over Bob and would refused to hear the doctors say he'd die.

Hey, email me sometime so we can talk privately. I'd be glad to share my story with you and I'd love to hear more of your story.
Love in Christ,