Boy, try as I might I cannot get that theme out of my head about God consuming it all before He can bring beauty. (see previous post if you have NO idea what I'm talking about) God has brought many things to my mind that I need to bring to Him and stop working so hard to bring the beauty myself. I must give my husband and my marriage fully to the Lord. FULLY! My need for comfort has been the motivating factor behind almost every decision I've made in my life. And yet instead of comfort it has almost always brought me grief, heartache and the need to beg God's forgivenesss.
I need to give God my desire for comfort. Yuck, I don't want to. Why is that? He is the God of all comfort. I must not really trust Him. All those things that I thought would bring me comfort showed themselves as lies. They left me empty. God is waiting to fill me to the fullest measure with a comfort that will truly satisfy. Why won't I let Him? I'm sure He's wondering the same thing. Thinkin', girl, why do you think you'll be the exception to the rule and I won't come through for you?
Good question, Lord. I'm believing the lies of the evil one. As He whispers to me, "don't let go of your comfort, you can satisfy your needs, you must be in control, He'll let you down, those words in His Book are for others, if you don't keep working to make things right - who will? You don't really believe that God is going to bring beauty from ashes, do you?" Lord, forgive me. Satan is scheming and I'm afraid at times (many times) I am allowing him to win some battles. He comes to me at night, when I am most vulnerable. When my guard is down. I need to be prepared to fight him at all times. I need to KNOW who you are. BELIEVE who are you. TRUST who are. And I need to start living it.
I am engraved on the palm of your hand. I AM ENGRAVED ON THE PALM OF YOUR HAND!! Lord, I want the comfort that only you can bring. I so desire to give all my cirucmstances to you and leave them there. Remind me when I start to take things back. The heat is turning up, I feel it. More and more of the "old Sheryl" is being burned away, it's painful at times. Boy, is it ever. But you and I will have a story to tell when the season is done.
Refiner, I am in you fire, do your work.