Thursday, August 7, 2008

Grace

Update below:

Remember awhile back when I was telling you about my son, David. I even wrote a post about him and said "this is my son, in whom I am well pleased". Well, this morning, he is still my son but I am not well pleased! He went to camp this week as a counselor. His favorite place to be on earth. Not long ago I received a call from him that he is being sent home. Oh great!! For those of you who don't know what they are, this will sound a lot worse than it is, but he made an Axe bomb. (it's a guy's body spray and they duct tape the button down so that it continuously sprays and throw it into a girls cabin). Harmless, yes. Something they do every year, yes. Behavior fitting a counselor, no!

To say that I am disappointed is an understatement. I sit here waiting for him to get home wondering what my first words will be. Praying for widsom and divine parenting skills. Then the word "grace" keeps running through my mind. One of the definitions of grace is God's forgiving mercy. It is getting something you don't deserve. Is it punishment enough that he is having to leave his favorite place? That he has to say good bye to his campers before the camp is over? That many of his friends are there and they all will know? That he has to come home to me and face me? I don't know.

But I do know the grace and mercy that God bestows on me day after day. Minute after minute actually! It's a good thing every time I make an impulsive, stupid decision God doesn't let His wrath out on me. He does not turn His back on me. I need to come to Him and ask forgiveness and be repentant for my actions but He doesn't throw it up in my face. It is dealt with and over.

I am still well pleased with my son just not this decision. God is well pleased with us because He loves us and He knows we're human. We will make mistakes and some of them on purpose. This was no mistake on my son's part it was a choice he made and a bad one. Boy have I been there. I choose anger over self control, bitterness over forgiveness, selfishness over selflessness, envy over contentment, okay I think you get the point. I don't want to give all my secrets away! Yet, when God looks at me He still sees His son. He doesn't see the yuck. He extends grace and mercy.

Today I get to choose. May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord. (Psalm 19:14) Lord I pray for wisdom to parent well, for grace and mercy if they are to be extended. Get me out of the way. I know you are well pleased with David. I know I am well pleased with David. May he know that today. Don't let us waste this teachable moment. May I learn something from it as well.

Here's the update I know you all are dying for. Did I extend grace or wrath, a big hug or a kick in the pants, smile or frown, forgiveness or bitterness? You're on the edge of your seats, aren't you. Well first I want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and your prayers. I know this situation was not life threatening but it had the potential to be life-altering. I know that a parent's words and actions can speak life or death into their child. Okay, already....I extended grace!!!! I love my son, he knows it, he knows he made a very poor choice, he also knows that his mom does too. Being sent home from his favorite place on earth, indeed was punishment enough. Thanks for caring about David. (and aren't you so proud of me, ha!!)


31 comments:

Nicole said...

I am so thankful for God's grace as I am so undeserving. I pray that you are able to let God speak through you today as you see your son. I like that you are looking to learn something from this situation also. I love to learn and I believe that we can learn from every situation and/or person if we choose to do so.

Blessings,
Nicole

Anonymous said...

Sheryl, what profound wisdom and maturity in the Lord you have expressed. I wish I had had that kind of maturity and wisdom when I was raising my sons. David is very blessed to have you for a mother!

God bless you today Sheryl
Joy Unspeakable
Susan for grammyshouse

UL Cards Fan said...

Sheryl,
You shine Christ's love to me and your other online Siestas everyday. I have no doubt that David will see Christ's love in you too. Anger and disappointment are natural reactions to the situation. The Bible relates stories of Jesus being angry BUT in your wisdom you are choosing not to stop at ANGER but to continue on to GRACE and FORGIVNESS. David and Ellie are blessed to have you as their mother and I am blessed to have you as a friend.

Love, LINDA

Paula (SweetPea) said...

What a very teachable moment, indeed. May God continue to lead you as you wait the arrival of your son and that first look. May it be of love yet....whatever else the Lord tells you to do.

What a profound moment in your life to as the Lord teaches you and you teach David.
Love,
Paula

Jenn @ Casa de Castro said...

Paula,
I have no doubt you and the Lord will handle this beautifully. Half the battle is REALIZING the need for grace. I suspect David will be disappointed enough in himself that you won't have to say much.

Blessings, dear one. Prayers going up for you today!

Earthmommy said...

Were it not for the Lord's grace and mercy the consequences of many of my bad decisons over the course of my life could be disastrous, even fatal.

Step back and let the Lord take the reigns. I am certain He will speak through you!

When you are done dealing with this, please visit Shore's End for an important announcement and prayer request!

Jenn said...

Your post shows so much wisdom! Thanks for helping me to remember that I need to think about grace during times of punishment with my children.

franwood said...

Sheryl, you are a wonderful mother, and you understand just how to deal with this upset for David. I'm sure he feels like he let you down and himself down (although to us it seems like a very minor offense!). Your love and forgiveness will reinforce God's love and forgiveness. I remember when my David (now 31) was in college and he had let us and himself down in a worse way than a little "bomb" into the girl's cabin. I told him that even so his dad and I were proud of him, and he cried and said,"That means more to me than you'll ever know". Years later he told me, "Mom, there WERE SOME things I never did because of the way I was raised."
Your David is blessed to have such a wonderful mother. Love, Sherry

Technonana said...

THESE ARE THE DAYS THAT TRY A PARENTS SPIRIT!! It's wonderful that you have time to... breath.. relax... reflect.. before you act, so that you don't REACT in the wrong manner... I have learned in my old age... it is better to seek wise council before we REACT to a situation!!!
Praise God for His wonderful, matchless Grace!!
I have no doubt that you will do the right thing!!
Love you, Sweet Girl

Kimberly said...

Hello Sweet Sheryl!

Thankful for His Mercy and Grace today and every morning! Glad you let God speak through you today instead of "you" yourself. We are good at making messes when we go it alone, aren't we?

Love ya a whole big bunch,
Kimberly

juliekg122 said...

Sheryl,

Remember - wastefully extravagant. The grace our God shows to us. It really is amazing. Praying that you follow His lead through this.

Love ya,
Julie

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sheryl,
I see you growing in the beauty of his holiness. I know you will follow your heart.Just continue to pray and ask the Lord to give you the words that you should say to David.
I remember those times with my son that I couldn't wait to tell what I thought of his foolishness because my emotions were all over the place. But as soon as he came home there was such a different approach than what I thought it would be. The holy spirit just quickened my heart to approach him in a total different way. You'll be fine because the Lord will be in it. Hugz Lorie

iteachpe said...

Wow-that I could take that wisdom with me everyday to school! That is so awesome and so well written! I may have to print that out and hang it by my desk. It is hard with kids. To be so quick to judge and get angry, then to show mercy and grace. I may not have my own but I have 1400 that need it too sometimes! Thanks lady for a great reminder. I know you are a great mom! Andyes-I read it and comment-told you I would-miracles happen!
:-) Melissa

Laura said...

Sheryl,
Oh my precious friend! God's grace upon us who are his children is unmeasurable!
You are a wonderful and awesome mother! You are looking at the picture from God's point of view and you are growing in wisdom. God is doing a great thing in you!
I love ya
Laura

nancygrayce said...

The worst punishment has already happened....he got sent home. Our 3rd son (my husband's 1st son) was sent home from a club convention his senior year in high school. I really can't remember why, but a few of them got sent home. We also were stressed about what to say and do, when my very wise husband decided to let the lesson learned be from getting sent home in humiliation.

Grace, grace, God's grace......grace that is greater than all our sin! I love that song. You'll do the right thing, just be the mama! He'll come through this a better man.

A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

Hi Sheryl-

What a wonderful lesson to be learned from your post. Wisdom just flows out of you Sheryl.
My heart breaks for David especially it’s his favorite place and having to leave it behind is punishment enough.
He’ll be thankful to come home a loving and understanding mom. How sweet is amazing grace and you are experiencing again first hand as you extend it towards your beloved one in whom you will continue to be well pleased.

As a mom, I will remember this parenting tip. Have a great weekend.

Myriam

De Anna Morris said...

Thank you for sharing. I believe you are in the right direction regarding grace extended to David. In a little while, this experience will be laughable. Maybe not upon his arrival at home, and he may be so highly embarrassed that he is already scolding himself enough!

I love your wisdom and insight. Your post is a blessing!

Anonymous said...

Good for you for realizing that he is already feeling very guilty and embarrassed for letting both you and himself down. I am sure that you will know the right words when you see his face.

I must also remember to have grace when my children try my patience or let me down. It's not always easy to have grace in these circumstances, but it is oh so important.

Denise in Texas

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sheryl
What a beautiful update of God's love, grace, mercy, and compassion. I know at times we tend to give out more of it towards others outside of our family, and the Lord allows us to go through certain issues with our kids I guess at times to remind us that same grace we give to others should be given to our family as well even more so. I'm happy to see it all worked out again love does cover a multitude of sins.
Hugz Lorie

Kelley said...

Good for you and your reaction. It's probably a good thing you had some time to think about it before you saw him. I am so grateful when natural consequenses occur and they can learn valuable lessons with a relatively small price to pay! I am living it with you right now with both my teen son and daughter, thanks for the example of undeserved grace.

A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

We are very proud of you Sheryl-

Thanks for being an inspiration as you live out your faith openly and invite us to be witnesses. I have learned many things from reading your journey thus far.

Hope David is well.

Myriam

nancygrayce said...

So proud! He'll learn more about both the things that get you into trouble and the love you get at home even when someone is disappointed. You done good girl!

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sheryl...
Please come to my blog I have two awards for you!!
Hugz Lorie

Mary said...

Grace!
I was so pleased that this is what you gave your son when you were disappointed in his behaviour. I agree, that being sent home was punishment enough. When my oldest child became a teenager, I was very unwise in how I handled many things and I suppose the hurt will be there as long as I live.
You are indeed, a very special mother. In fact, you are very special, period!
mary

Amrita said...

May the Lord guide you as you bring up your children and nuture them in the ways of the Lord.

His Girl said...

a clear parenting victory!!! good job. *sigh*

Jan and Tom's Place said...

Hi Sheryl...

Wonderful story...thanks for sharing.

Just wanted to let you know you're once again on our Prayer List today on our blog post DAY of PRAYER.

~Blessings,
Jan

De Anna Morris said...

Very proud of you! Thanks for the update!

Cheryl said...

Sheryl,

You know sometimes when we make stupid decisions, we are so ashamed of ourselves or disappointed that we're able to learn from it and hopefully not do the same again.

Bless you for extending "grace."

Cheryl

Jules (Sporty Mama) said...

Sheryl,

Thank you for the reminder of God's extension of grace and how it should be extended in parenting. What a wonderful reminder, especially when you're exhausted and don't think you can handle one more tantrum that particular day. It helps to remind myself that God chooses to tolerate my tantrums and disobedience and extend His loving grace daily. Your parenting choice is a gentle reminder to all of us moms and a great example.

Julie Anna

Fran said...

Wow! What a sweet moment as a moment. I bet it melted your heart a little to extend that love and grace he so needed.

Hugs,
Fran