God is worthy of my praise. Period! He is worthy of it. Not because He answers one way or another. Not because He gives what I ask. Not because of anything except because of who He is. I had decided that no matter the test results of my biopsies, I would praise Him. He does not change just because my circumstances do. He is the same God that I praised yesterday and I would continue to praise Him.
However...the biopsies are BENIGN!! I sobbed. Not sure that it was relief, gratitude or just what caused the tears. But this I do know. God will use this, it will not be a wasted experience. He has already used it. Because of the impending tests, Don stopped the divorce and decided it would be best if we just remained legally separated. This way there would be no issues with my health insurance. He is not intending to ever get back together, but we don't know what God is up to in this!! My heart had become hardened toward Don. I was not praying for him or for the restoration of our marriage. I miss him right now though. Wish he was here with me to celebrate God's faithfulness.
If we don't think God is in control of ALL circumstances...let me just tell you how it went when I got the phone call from the doctor today. My phone rang, it was Don (hubby) calling to see how I was doing and if I had heard anything. The other line beeps in and I can see it is the doctor. So I tell Don that I will call him back and let him know. Of course, after I hear the great news I knew I had to call Don right away because he would be sitting there wondering. So even though our marriage is "over", God still made it so that my husband would be the first to know. Isn't that just so like God?
Thank you all for your prayers. They were physically felt by me. God is still holding me in His refiner's fire and bringing beauty from the ashes. YOU are part of that beauty.