Worn out!!!!
How do people do this? Keep getting hit by one life circumstance after another! And truly what would people do without the Lord to run to?
In my last post, I said that Ellie was sick but would be fine. HAHA. Took her to the doctor on Friday and was told to head to the hospital immediately. She would be admitted. Her red blood count was dangerously low. She had 2 transfusions and 24 hours in the hospital. We are home and she will get better. It will be a long road until she is herself again but we're headed in the right direction.
She and I both broke down in the doctor's office. Enough is enough!! Or is it? These have been the hardest two years in our lives. Can't we just get a break?!
It's been one of those days today where I am kind of numb. There is nothing that I can do about any of the situations we find ourselves in and that is a paralyzing feeling. But at the same time it is a bit freeing. If I know that I can't do anything, then it leaves me no choice but to literally throw it at the Lord. Handle it, please!!
I'm dealing with some anger, feelings of betrayal, exasperation, did I mention anger? Yea, there's quite a bit of anger all aimed in one direction. (no names here) It's one more thing that God is trying to burn out of my life. Refining.
On Friday before I took Ellie to the doctor I found one slip of paper that had gotten stuck in an old dresser. It was from a Bible study that I had done over 10 years ago. It was Habakkuk!! The only verses from this year that I have truly put to memory. Do you think God was reminding me that I will be joyful and rejoice even when.....
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:17 & 18.
Habakkuk means...Embraced by God. I am SOOOOOOOO glad He is holding us.
- Sheryl
- I am a mom to 2 great kids. I am a child of God who is pursuing after Him as I learn to live in my "new normal". Diagnosed with a life altering illness in June of 2007 and the end of my marriage less than a year later, life has taken a new path. One that I am learning to accept and appreciate. As my illness caused me to be basically home bound, my family named the living room couch "my perch". Thus the title of this blog.
30 comments:
I am sure from reading for a while that one name you don't want to say is Don. Don't be so mad at him poor thing, it takes two people to build a marriage and two to break it down. I learned that from my own failures. It was not only one spouse's choice to leave. I am sure he has his own tough road not being there to see the kids, trying from a distance, etc. Each has their own struggles and anger will not help as children can see these things which may impact how they see their father. You are a better person than that and carrying anger will only hurt the ones around you who you care about most. I wish I could have given myself the same advice I am giving here: don't place blame on others for things gone wrong. We are not victims in our lives and things do not happen to us without our own action and involvement. I pray for peace and healing for you, until then it will be hard for the children to heal.
So sorry to hear about your daughter. What a scary ordeal and I can imagine all the emotions you are feeling right now. I would be feeling them too. What a wonderful post though Sheryl. You are such an incredibley strong woman and despite all these trials He is holding you. Love the scripture...so appropriate.
This is directed to Betty. You write that " things do not happen to us without our own action and involvment" That is nonsense in this case. Do you think Sheryl's actions caused her to be "sick" and loose her "normal life" for 2 years? Do you think Ellie somehow caused the problem that landed her in the hospital? Do you even KNOW Sheryl? Well I do! She is clinging to Jesus in circumstances that almost seem impossible to cope with. No matter what life's outcomes, Sheryl will WIN because Jesus is holding her and her children.
Wow, I think God left you a note in that dresser! How timely! Yes, He is with you no matter what you're going through. It can be hard to "praise Him through the storms". When I feel worn out, I vent to God. I figure He knows what's going on and shouldn't be surprised to hear my disappointment!
I pray that your daughter is getting better!
Love & Prayers, Leslie
Amen UL Cards Fan, people are so quick to step into judgement about someone else's life when they need to be taking care of their own. Sheryl hasn't denied her part in any of her situation. She is just trying to come to terms and learning to deal with this new life. So get off your high horse Betty. All Sheryl needs to hear from any of us is that we are praying for her and God WILL see her through.
Sheryl, I'm so glad Ellie is on her way to feeling much better!
I'm sure what you, Don and your kids DON'T need right now is for people to give advice when it's not asked for!
It amazes me that people feel they have a right to judge others and think they know what is right for everyone.
Blog readers of the world... prayers and positive comments are great! Anything other than that, quit reading and commenting. You are helping none!
Sending you hugs and love. I know what it means.
I've been thinking about you the last couple days, I'm sorry to hear that times are tough. Hopefully you and the kids are asleep and with sleep comes restoration and healing. Have faith, it will be okay. Yes it may feel like two long years with things exploding in your life, but think about how far you've come. You've been able to do it thus far, because of Him, so don't hesitate in handing it all over to the Lord. Take some time to remember where his grace has emerged in the last couple months. Remind yourself that although it feels dark and scary and lonely He IS there and waiting for you to ask him to turn on the light.
I am reminded of Psalm 40, about the Father's faithfulness. He hears our cries even when it feels like we are waiting and waiting, but he will pull you, Ellie, David and even Don out of the ditch. He will pull you from the mud and muck to stand your feet firmly on the Rock. He will not let you slip, he will not let you fall. Hold tight to him, account to yourself his faithfulness where His grace has emerged.
I pray Lord, "Do not withhold your mercy from this family Lord, allow your love and truth to strengthen them. For innumerable troubles surround them, Ellie is sick, David and Don are fighting, Sheryl is swamped by anger, feelings of betrayal, and exasperation. Bring them joy and peace, the things that bring you glory. Even in the areas of pain, help them in even these things to praise you. Allow these to be moments of pruning. You promise us that you work for the good of those who love you, all things work for You. Give them a glimmer of the harvest to come, Lord and the strength until the bounty of harvesttime. In your Name.
I wanted to share this quote from a book called Turn My Mourning into Dancing as it came to mind, "Pruning means cutting, reshaping, removing what diminishes vitality. When we look at a pruned vineyard, we can hardly believe it will bear fruit. But when the harvest comes, we realize that the pruning allowed the vines to concentrate their energy and produce more grapes. Grateful people learn to celebrate even amid life's hard and harrowing memories because they know that pruning is no mere punishment, but preparation.
When our gratitude for the past is only partial, our hope for the future can likewise never be full. But our submitting to God's pruning work will not ultimately leave us sad, but hopeful for what can happen in us and through us. Harvesttime will bring its own blessings.."
Praying for you. Email if you want to chat. BTW, I just ordered the Esther study and am really excited.
Sorry to hear about your daughter and your challenges of late. Praying you find peace.
I LOVE it when God does things like leaving the note in your dresser! He knew JUST what you needed...and when you needed it.
Standing in faith that God will continue the healing work in your life, as well as in the life of your precious daughter.
God's right there..in the midst of your situation...so rest in him.
Hi friend!
Praying for you and Ellie. It sure is hard when they are sick. AND, even harder when you don't feel good as well.
My blessings to you: Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
Love, Debbie
Lifting you and your family in my prayers & thoughts this morning. Hang on tight my friend, the twists and turns can sometimes make us feel like we will never make it back to a straight path, but HE will make sure it happens.
Let's give HIM thanks for putting people in our lives to teach us such valuable lessons--that no one else can.
Blessings,
Hi Sheryl,
Continue to be strong in the Lord and be of good courage.
I'm praying for you.
Kim
I don't know what it is about Habakkuk, but God has taken me there as well. Hmmmmm...
Beautiful post! I am so, so sorry for all this. I know what it means to feel like there's never a break in the emotional roller coaster. I'm glad Ellie will be fine...as it sounds much worse from the blood transfusion. Thank God for blessings amidst the pain.
Praying the Father gives you a breather and a refresher!!
Love,
Paula
I am glad He is Holding you too!!!
HOLD ON, HOLD TIGHT!! The battle is raging, but the War has already been won!!!
You are blessed Sweet Sheryl!!
Keep On Keeping On!!! Soon you shall reap what you have sown!!
Love You!
Sharon
Thank God He never lets go! I am praying for your daughters healing. Hang in there God is still in control and still on the throne...
just a note to let you know how much I love reading your journey, how far you've come, and the miracle that God is doing.
*holding my 'tounge' for the 'Poor thing' comment*
(the comment I'm not leaving involves making a 'Job's Friends' parallel) *still holding my tongue*
Sheryl~
I am praying for Ellie. My heart breaks for you and yet you continue to inspire me...inspired to be a better person, woman, wife, mother, child of God! Inspired to draw me closer to the one that saves us from the depths of brokeness- JESUS!
Sheryl, you are so right. Throwing it all on the Lord is exactly the thing to do!
I'm in a Beth Moore Bible Study on Esther right now, and today's lesson was just what you shared on your blog. The whole thing boils down to "trust"! That's what you're doing! You're turning to Him and trusting Him with it all!
You are an inspiration, and I count it a privilege to read your blog and read your insights! Thanks for sharing!
What a special verse to find when you were feeling so low. God is amazing, isn't he?
Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet daughter. I hope the transfusions "fixed" the problem and she's well on her way to better days.
Life definitely gets hard sometimes...but it's always great! I hope you're better!
Sheryl, you are being bombarded right now! But, God always uses the tough times to refine us. I know when in the midst of all the pain, agony, anger and feelings of being overwhelmed it is hard to see why God is allowing all of this. I have to say that you are touching so many lives by sharing your struggles and in my opinion this is what God desires of you. I pray lives will be changed and hearts will be given completely to Him through your writings here.
I'm glad the LORD is embracing and holding all of us too.
I'm praying for you now dear sister.
UUUUUMMMM...
I'm catching up. SHEESH, you've had too much going on. I hope things are getting better!
I don't even know what to say other than that.
But I do know that this internet sharing thing can be tricky. People think they know what you mean, that they know the ins and outs of your life when maybe they don't. Try not to take it to heart, because those of us that have a true sense of who you are know that you're a loving mom and a forgiving person.
Peace,
Heather
Reading through the psalms and focused on Psalm 29 in my quiet time today.
The end says,
"The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
Lord is enthroned as King forever.
The Lord gives strength to his people,
the Lord blesses his people with peace."
I thought of you. Praying for you Ellie, David, and Don.
Oh Sheryl - I needed to hear this toDAY. Must be why I hadn't seen it before now...well, that and a major reaction to medication and heading south. SOOO sorry to hear about all that's going on with you but glad you have rallied, as it were, from the latest and praying she continues to recover.
And hello, I'm sorry....a word aptly spoken in due season is like apples of gold in baskets of silver, the Bible tells us. I don't know you, Betty, but DUE SEASON is the key word here. That isn't when you are dealing with serious health issues for yourself or your children. And I hear a woman seeking God and working through. And doing it on her time table and God's. I'd be careful assuming to speak for HIM to one already traveling the right path. I hope you meant well but thinking first is a bonus and shows spiritual maturity.
Sorry to read your Ellie was really sick. Lord, continue to heal and restore her heart.
Love the verse you found. Perfect.
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