Saturday, April 5, 2008

Happy Anniversary?

Yep, today I (we) have been married 17 years! Unfortunately since we are separated there won't be any celebrating but I'm still praying for restoration. Ya know, beauty from ashes...God can do it but there may be a lot of pain and struggle along the way.

Beautiful day today. Sunny. Warm. (well, it is Michigan, 50's are warm around here) Ellie went for 9 minutes of tanning and is now laying out on the trampoline. It makes it feel much warmer when you're laying out on a big black mat!! Only one more day until we're back to school and she's gotta squeeze in all the sun she can. She's a girl after my own heart. I'd be out there too, if only I could!

I've been thinking a lot about people letting people down. They have good intentions (I know I've blogged about this before, so forgive me) but they don't have follow through. I don't have follow through either. We are all going to let each other down. I understand that. But there are times when we are truly dependent on others for our needs and they are not there. (my family - parents, brothers, sis-in -laws have always been there) We attend a huge church and you would think in a church that size that we should be able to meet the needs of one another, especially once the needs are known. Maybe it's because of the size of the church. If we were in a smaller church, it might feel more like family, people wouldn't assume that someone else is already taking care of it, etc. I don't mean to be doggin' everybody but I want to be different once I'm well. I want to be a person that will be there for those that can't "do" for themselves.

My mother-in-law is still having chemo every single Monday morning. She has breast cancer. Double mastectomy last spring and then a year of chemo. She is almost done. Have I been there for her? NO! Now I could say that it's because I've not been well, but would I have been then for her otherwise. I don't think so. I don't like that about myself. There are a lot of things that God is revealing to me that I don't particularly care for. I sit, He shows me, we work on it together and I hope to be different.

Is it a Happy Anniversary? No. But it is my anniversary. 17 years ago I made a commitment to Don until death do us part and I will keep that commitment. Lord, help me!


Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

Hi Sheryl,
Thanks for stopping by my blog today, I am glad you left a comment and it wasn't anonymous. I find it incredible that anyone would be jealous of me. I know all the dirt on myself and believe me, it isn't pretty! In this season of my life I have been very blessed but only after a lot of pain and heartache. And I have no idea what my future holds.

After looking through your blog I can tell you are really suffering right now. I will be praying that God will give you some relief and that you will feel His unmistakable presence surround you. At our church we have small lifegroups to meet the needs of individual members. I wonder if your church has something like that. You definitely need the body of Christ loving on you right now!

I am praying for you and I hope we can stay in touch! Blessings will come, hang in there!


He Knows My Name said...

Sheryl, thanks for the BUSY...i'm adding that one to my collection. I am so glad to meet you, i am from MI too. You just keep seeking Christ and His will and He will see you thru these rough times. I'll be back to visit. ~janel

Suzanne said...

Hi there. I came to your blog from seeing you comment on another one I read. I read several of your posts and what you're going through reminded me of a time in my life a few years ago.

I was dealing with illness too(mine was both physical and depression related), along with raising 3 kids and having some relationship troubles of my own. I was so sick that there were days I could barely get out of bed, our finances crashed in the middle of all of it (because I didn't even have the energy to sit at the computer to pay the bills), and it was just a terribly difficult time.

However, in the midst of it all I grew to be closer to the Lord than I ever imagined possible. I felt so far down that there was no where else to look but up to Him. I can honestly say now that I am truly thankful for having gone through every part of it because of what God taught me during that time.

I pray strength and peace for you to get through this time and pray also that you will receive the blessing that can come from trials.