Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Keep Refining...

I read other's blogs on a daily basis. And I realize how much fun everyone else is having!! My blog seems like such a downer. I know it's my life right now but I need to bring some joy into it. As many of you who have been following along know, I have "complained" about being forgotten. Those people who you think would surround you in your time of need, have just not been there. However, God has brought a whole new batch up of people.

Well...after all my "complaining", all of a sudden women are coming out of the woodwork to help out. Someone is organizing my grocery shopping, house cleaning, meals, etc. AND we have had more food brought into this house in the past 5 days then we could ever even begin to eat. Freezer is full. We've already had one dinner brought tonight and another is on its way. When it rains, it pours but I cannot complain about that. However, some of the food...well I just have to wonder? Boy I sound ungrateful but let's just say my parents have gotten loads of leftovers in the last couple of days. They are enjoying the overflow of less than fabulous food. They don't seem to mind.

I love the heart of a woman that is willing to pitch in. Even if it's not edible (ha) Because there are so many who say with their words that they will help but then nothing....I am trusting God that He will heal me and I will get to be a blessing. For now I pray for the needs of others since I can't meet those needs and know that's what He's called me to.

Am I the only one who has a hard time praying for myself though? It seems as things get worse and worse, I just can't even find the words to pray. That is when I am SO glad for the body of believers who pray. And for Jesus, our intercessor, who goes before the Father on our behalf. He knows our needs better than we do. Sometimes I just cry out the name of Jesus because that's all this heart can muster, but I know HE knows.

Wow I started out talking about how much fun everyone else is having on their blogs and here I am with another deep post. Oh well, this is what I have been given for now. To record this journey and that's what I'm doing. Hoping and praying that one day I will be posting that He has brought beauty from ashes. Obviously there are still some things that need the refining fire.


Suzanne said...

I am really glad that more people are pitching in to help you. I am also glad for you that when you don't have the words to pray, the Spirit cries out in prayer for you. I know that I have to remind myself of that when I just can't seem to even pray for myself. Hope today is a good day for you!

Nicole said...

Hello Sheryl,
Stay strong. Prayer is an absolute but so is the power of positive thinking. It can literally transform the hormone release in your brain to see things in a better light. I have read your posts and I feel your suffering, both physically and emotionally. The anger, bitterness, grieving, ambivalence, happens to everyone who has lost something precious...whether it be a marriage or a physical capability. His purpose, His time. You have found yourself in a Pit for a reason and God is sending you a message.
As for divorce, I feel that God led me to my divorce. I am sure that any Christian reading this is likely cringing at those words. But without going into the messy details, God knows how lost I was and what I needed to climb out of my pit and to chang my life to honor Him. The only absolute in life is that Christ is our Saviour and believing in Him will bring everlasting life through forgivness of sins and His saving Grace. I prayed for restoration of my marriage but God kept laying upon my heart that this would not be; eventually, I accepted this and moved on...and it was very hard. But it was also the greatest liberation of my life, delivering me from so much pain and sin and sending me straight into the arms of Jesus! I still find myself grieving what "should have been" in my life but am comforted in knowing that I tried my hardest to make it work. However, marriage takes two and I was merely one--my marriage was certainly not equally yoked.
I do not know much about vestibular neuritis as I am a critical care nurse educator. However, what I do know is that stress exacerbates everything...and you are under a tremendous amount of emotional and physical stress. Listen to the counsel of your medical providers and perhaps even a good anti-depressant...alas, I am not a doctor, but I have seen it work in many, at least to get you over the hump. I check in with your blog and want you to know that your turmoil IS shared by are the prayers offered for you. Your children need a mother who is a, start surviving.
Blessings, Nicole

His Girl said...

I actually think this was a very fun post!

Susan said...

Hey Sheryl,

Thanks so much for stopping by today, it's so nice to meet you!

I'm so sorry you are struggling now, and I will be praying for YOU too.

I can't imagine what you are going through, I just know loss is difficult.

There is a great quote by Corrie Ten Boom I thought of as I read some of your posts:

"Although the threads of my life have often seemed knotted, I know, by faith, that on the other side of the embroidery there is a crown." Corrie Ten Boom

So blessed everyone has been helping out.

I'll be back♥

Anonymous said...

Looks like you are getting some good advice here. Keep your chin up and keep on praying.


Gina@Chats With An "Old Lady" said...

Good post! I like to think of my chores as being an "act of worship". They are what God has for me to do, and I need to do them " unto the Lord." and not complain. It is a part of my calling!

Hang in there
and keep clinging!

Jenny said...

I'm glad that you are getting more help!

I'm a little overwhelmed right now, I want to say something to make you feel better, but I don't know what to say, does that make sense?

Thank you for letting us share in your life, I hope as time goes by we become "bloggy" friends!


SweetPea said...

"Those people who you think would surround you in your time of need, have just not been there."

I can TOTALLY understand that statement. My bestest of friends who were there for me in the beginning of my trial (of marriage) have since abandon me. They were my rock but when they saw Chris wasn't returning and the divorce was going through, it's like they slowing faded away. I too have found wonderful online friends for the encouragement I need and also to give and be an encouragement.

I'm making my way through your posts.