Thursday, March 6, 2008

Am I A Light?

Even in this present darkness, am I still a light? Oh I try to find some joy in each day. The days can be very long when you're unable to leave home. God has taken me from active and always on the go to "stillness" and there is a reason. But am I a light? These are rough days. Lonely. Sometimes anger filled. Anxious. Surprised. Questioning.Stable yet unstable. But am I a light? The light should shine no matter the circumstances.

I remember writing in my journal back in the summer when I thought this illness was just a passing thing (oh how naive I was) that my joy was circumstantial. I don't want circumstantial joy. I just want joy.

Not to be so easily moved. More like a rock than a tree swaying in the wind that is moved by the things happening around it. I want to be solid. What happens around me will happen, don't get caught up in it. Am I A Light? Make it brighter.........

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