Pain

I don't even know them, yet I cry. That couple I talked about in my last post waiting for surgery. Well it didn't go well. That's an understatement. It went horribly. David is 32, and he will live his life with 2 bags. I say "live his life". I bet he will agree for awhile that that's not living a life at all. I don't know what it's like to have cancer. To have your insides ripped out. To have 2 bags. But I do know what it feels like to not live life.

These past 9 months of dealing with the vestibular neuritis have not really felt like living. Well there have been some decent days where people have come by and have enjoyed their company. But it wasn't "MY LIFE". I was so frustrated the other day when I couldn't shop for myself, but I've already said that a million times. I want to get in the car, go do things with the kids, shop, eat out, go to church, walk without feeling like I'm going to fall over, feel good, just live my life again. It's hard getting used to a "new normal".

And now my "new normal" also includes the separation. It has now been almost 3 weeks since Don and I have been separated. I don't know how long it will take to work things out or if it will ever work out but it is an adjustment. But there is peace. God is in it! Lord I pray for healing. I pray for Christin and David, who I will never meet this side of heaven. Only you know their needs, I don't even begin to imagine to know what to pray for them so I just lift them to you and ask that you meet their needs at this moment. Continue to bring healing in my own life and in my familiy. You are the great physician. All this pain was never your plan. Help us to trust. Show yourself in a huge way!